


Dating Shin Hoseok

by monwonpanda



Series: SonShin(e) [2]
Category: B.A.P, EXO (Band), GOT7, Monsta X (Band), VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drugs, Eventual Smut, Feels, First Love, First Time, Friendship, Hyungline, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Spin the Bottle, Tattoos, daddyline, leaderline, multifandom - Freeform, seme shownu, showho, showhyuks beware, slightbanghim, uke wonho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monwonpanda/pseuds/monwonpanda
Summary: He's tired from the long night, the emotions fluctuating inside his chest, the thoughts swirling in his head. He just wants him. The how or when can wait. He needs him.He knows that it's a greater feat than it sounds and for now, far out of his reach but his phone isn’t. He should at least get the ball rolling.No turning back now.or college au where Hyunwoo is Hyunwoo and Hoseok is somewhat of a delinquent. Shit goes down; the sweet, fluffy kind. Plus a whole lot of side idol characters. tags will be added with progress.





	1. I - the boys that like boys

Minhyuk raises his brow a little too high and Hyunwoo just shrugs.

  
“Really, him?” he asks for what seems to be like the tenth time and like all the other times, Hyunwoo doesn’t answer.

  
Yes, his sure it’s him.

  
Hyunwoo wasn’t outspoken when it came to preferences or anything else but Shin Hoseok was the last person Minhyuk thought he would show interest in.

“The one with the blue hair, right?” Minhyuk was having a hard time believing this.

  
The fact that he had blue hair was reason enough to never pair him with the quiet observant Hyunwoo.

  
“Blue tips, the rest is grey and a bit of black,” Hyunwoo corrects.

  
His not quite sure why his even entertaining Minhyuk. The boy is a drama major. Somehow he assumed he would feel more at ease with this feeling if he said out loud. Sadly he chose the wrong time to say out loud and Minhyuk just won’t let him forget it.

  
In truth, this situation is just as foreign to Hyunwoo as it is to Minhyuk. They’ve been together since high school and for the lack of better reasoning, let’s just say opposites attract. Not once in their entire friendship had Hyunwoo showed interest first. He was always approached but he himself was never attracted to the entire of a person. Sometimes he would confuse his admiration for attraction but he had learnt that admiration soon seemed minuscule once it’s taken out of context. He had never liked rushing things and emotions wasn’t really his forte but he knew he shouldn’t go looking for something that wasn’t created yet.

  
Minhyuk had been in every sense, the very opposite. One would consider him a serial opportunists, while other would consider him an enthusiast. Whichever it be, Minhyuk had fallen in love more times than he fallen out of it. The boys past was littered with lost loves, if onlys, almosts and just like his favourite rnb track, in the words of Brandy; almost doesn’t count. Minhyuk begged to differ though, insisting these types of situations shape you and steer you into the right direction. Hyunwoo has long stopped talking trying to talk any logic him into.

  
They near the studio and Hyunwoo does some kind of mental check. Initially, when he first got invited to the club, Hyunwoo had accepted just because he didn’t want to seem disrespectful. The apparent club was set up for the university’s annual arts festival. Hyunwoo, being a dance major was one of the students selected to represent their class. Not all was as it seemed. Firstly there was no proper club, instead, there just seemed to be mingling and basically partying. Secondly, the only reason they selected him was because they didn’t think he would snitch. They were right, he wouldn’t. Hyunwoo was all too happy that he could spend his Friday night sleeping again as opposed to spending it in some club. Of course, that hadn’t lasted long too because that night was the first time he caught a glimpse of that blue hair and megawatt smile.

  
He was hooked and here was, once again.

  
Minhyuk rolls his eye and shoves through the door. Hyunwoo shrugs at his friend’s annoyance and follows.

  
7 shots of soju and another three cans of beer down, Hyunwoo is about to walk out because he has been here for the past two hours and he still hadn’t seen a speck of blue hair. He was not alright with that. Low-key or high-key, Hyunwoo knew he only spared time to do this shit because of the possibility of seeing him. Him who wasn’t here. So what the fuck was he supposed to do now? Weaving through the crowd, tipsy Hyunwoo spots Youngjae in the corner. The elder notice Hyunwoo and for reasons unknown, his smile gets wider and a little scary. It’s not long till Hyunwoo feels Youngjae’s fingers wrap around his wrist. It’s far from intimate but it feels wrong all the same. In rush, Youngjae whisks him away and Hyunwoo can barely make sense of anything. It’s all just shapes and colours as they bump shoulders with the crowd. With a final tug, Hyunwoo finds a gush of cool fresh air rushing into his lungs. It shakes him up a bit and he can feel the numbness of the alcohol paling.

  
“Minhyuk’s been looking for you,” Youngjae speaks, after he lights his cigarette, “actually I have too.”

  
Hyunwoo doesn’t even want to know but he does need to find Minhyuk, ”Where is he?”

  
Smoke slips through his lips as Youngjae smiles at Hyunwoo. His eyes are sparkling with mirth and Hyunwoo looks perplexed. He takes another drag before he motions for Hyunwoo to follow him. Against his better judgement, Hyunwoo goes along. It’s not like he can really leave without Minhyuk.

  
Hyunwoo totters behind, his balance has mostly recovered but his sense of depth is a bit off, not to say that there’s a light thrumming running circles in his head. Youngjae hadn’t offered any explanation but Hyunwoo doesn’t really care, he's too busy sulking.

It’s not too long till Hyunwoo’s ears to perk up, Minhyuk’s laughing shriek piercing through the quiet night. Only then does Hyunwoo realise they’re nearing the garden court. There’s various foreign voices competing with Minhyuk but Hyunwoo can barely make out any particulars due to the only source of light being what seems like a couple of mini garden lamps. Either way, everyone sounded pretty merry and was probably was all types of intoxicated by now. That piqued his interest. Digging in his jeans pocket and retrieving his phone, Hyunwoo takes a moment to remember his lock pattern is a simple ‘N’ shape. Once he does his met with bold white numbers-

  
23:35

  
The again, why did he unlock his phone when his pretty sure his lock screen displays time.

  
Wait.

  
23:35

  
Twenty-five to twelve, twenty-five minutes to midnight.

  
WHAT THE HELL!

  
Now that was depressing. It’s almost midnight and he hasn’t gotten any sleep or any visual of Hoseok.

  
What kind of injustice is this?

  
“Oi Hyunwoah, come on. They’re waiting,” Youngjae’s chirps happily.

  
Hyunwoo, straight-faced, reminds himself that it is useless correcting people like Minhyuk and Youngjae.

  
There’s roughly about thirteen off them sporadically scattered around a large round wooden table, a large black umbrella stemming from the middle of the table with various backpacks piled around it. Hyunwoo just nods as they greet him and beelines to Minhyuk but is caught off guard when Jackson, from his dance class, catches him in a bro hug. The shorter is obviously a little more than drunk and he threatens to squeeze the life out of Hyunwoo but soon is whisked away by another intoxicated redhead. There’s a shriek of delight and Hyunwoo watches in concern as the Minhyuk saunters in his direction. The blond is a mess but an exceedingly happy one. He roughly latches onto Hyunwoo and tugs the taller to a pair of males that now look suddenly awkward. Actually he feels quite a few pair of eyes lingering on him and Minhyuk. It doesn’t faze him though, multiple people have gotten the wrong idea about Minhyuk’s tendency to cling.

  
O’well.

  
“Guys, this is Hyunwoo. The one I was speaking about. Woo, this is…uh-

 

“I’m Ravi and this is Leo,” the broader male introduces as he rolls his eyes at Minhyuk

  
Minhyuk just smiles sheepishly as he tries his hardest not to sway. The Leo person doesn’t seem to be much of a talking person and Hyunwoo doesn’t prod, instead, he just bows. Which was a terrible idea because his head immediately spins as he straightens and Ravi laughs.

  
“Either your good with your alcohol or just haven’t drank enough because I know if I tried to bow that low- no if I tried to bow at all, id kiss the ground so hard,” he comments shamelessly as Leo just shakes his head in disdain.

  
Minhyuk soon joins in with the laughter, “I know right, Hyunwoo rarely ever gets drunk. That or he doesn’t show it. He's not one for emotions.”

  
“Neither is Leo,” Ravi offers and somewhat of bond solidify between him and Minhyuk.

  
Hyunwoo suddenly feels rather sorry for the quiet male. The combination of Ravi and Minhyuk seems pretty overwhelming. Maybe Leo hasn’t-

  
“I’ve been here the whole time,” a very well timed Leo comments and Hyunwoo offers him a sympathetic smile.

  
The loud mouths continue to chatter and compare their respective friends, while ignoring those respective friend’s presence. Hyunwoo doesn’t mind, his use to being just ‘present’ and by the looks of it, so was Leo. He soon takes a seat next to the silent male, they’re not really sitting at the main table but on a random bench not too far off.

  
“Apparently we’re somewhat alike. Our friendships that is. Ravi and I, too, are friends from High school,” Leo voice is just above a whisper but Hyunwoo is good at blocking distractions out his zone.

  
He nods. It’s not really a conversation starter but more of a catch up explanation. This is what Minhyuk mustn’t have meant when he said he had been talking about Hyunwoo.

  
“Hey, bitches it is time to gather,” Youngjae announces as reaches for umbrella stem piercing the table.

  
It more or less gets everyone’s attention.

  
“Who you calling your bitch Jae?” An amazingly deep voice questions.

  
“Oh I’m sorry Yongguk. I forgot I’m not Himchan,” Youngjae snickers as Yongguk throws him a dirty look.

  
Youngjae struggles for a while but eventually frees the pole from the table slot and Yongguk helps pull out the rather tall object. The umbrella is tossed aside as Daehyun fusses over the well-being of the backpacks.

  
“What exactly are we doing?” Hyunwoo asks to no one in particular but he can feel Leo shrug beside him.

  
“We’re playing spin THE BOTTLE,” Youngjae yells and Hyunwoo wonder just how he even heard the question through the chatter and the distance.

  
“Only boys though,” someone whispers far too near to Hyunwoo’s ears and he recoils, ”you know, the boys that like boys.”

  
The owner of the voice is rather small and boyish looking male with heavy eyeliner and cherry lips

.  
“Don’t go whispering into people's ears like,” another shorter smile adds as he flushes with embarrassment,” I’m sorry but Baekhyun knows no boundaries. My apologies.”

  
“Don’t go apologising for me. Its embarrassing Suho. I was trying to be sexy,” Baekhyun huffs and Suho just continues to smile apologetically.

  
“It’s okay,” Hyunwoo offers but it falls on deaf ears because Baekhyun is already squealing over something with Youngjae.

  
There’s two circular benches surrounding the table but it’s not the most comfortable and Yongguk looks annoyed with being squished together with other people.

  
“You just bitch for everything,” Youngjae teases.

  
“I don’t like people touching me unnecessarily,” Yongguk stresses.

  
“OH,” Baekhyun dramatically drawls as he nods in faux understanding.

  
“Let’s just play on the grass then,” Suho offers gently and Yongguk glances upon the small male as if he hadn’t noticed Suho’s presence before.

  
“On the grass? What are we, children?” Baekhyun whines.

  
“We’re playing spin the bottle, we might as well be children,” Suho counters with ease.

  
“He has a point there,” Yongguk agrees and Baekhyun looks devastated by Yongguk’s action.

  
“On the grass it is,” Youngjae concludes loudly and Baekhyun pouts as Suho smiles smugly.

  
It takes some effort but with Youngjae’s guidance a bunch of fairly drunk college students form something akin to a circle. The sweet scent of marijuana still lingering in the air. It should be midnight now, no, probably past it. The sky is clear of all stars but the full moon is bright. There’s a fair amount of dew on the green grass but no one seems to be complaining. The power of alcohol is a vast one. Hyunwoo is wedged between Minhyuk and Suho with Ravi being on the other side of Minhyuk. Next to Suho Jackson and then the redhead that was with him.Without any prior warning, the group of males finds themselves wincing as Youngjae switch on a bar of blinding light.

  
“Just something I borrowed from the photography department,” he beams as he lets the light illuminates his features.

  
It’s a little too bright but it definitely is needed because those mini garden lamps coupled with the full moon were more a mood maker than anything else.

  
“So my good good drunk friends, we are today, tonight, to play spin the bottle,” Youngjae announces as if he was a sports commentator.

  
Suddenly Baekhyun scrambles to his knees and Hyunwoo watches Suho lowers his head.

  
“Your MC for today is Baekhyun and I, Youngjae. Thank you thank you,” Youngjae claps and a few join in.

  
“Seriously Jae, just move the fuck on. I’m not drunk enough for this,” Yongguk comments.

  
“You’re so mean,” Baekhyun barks at Yongguk.

  
“I’m sorry. I know like we were supposed to get our shit together before twelve and here we are at like whatever past twelve and I’m sorry. Just I’ve been waiting for someone but his like fucken late. So yeah, let’s begin,” Youngjae explains and others just nod along.

  
“Shall I?” Baekhyun volunteers and Daehyun nods in approval,” Sooooo today we have myself, Baekhyun and Youngjae. The mean one is Yongguk and next to him, looking extremely nervous, is Jeon Jungkook. Who by the way is as young as he looks. Some kind of genius but still legal. Then we have Jimin, Jackson and grandpa Suho.”

  
All eyes move to Suho and the Jackson laughs as he slaps Suho on the shoulder. Suho is less than impressed as lips are pressed together in a thin line while Baekhyun giggles uncontrollably.

  
“Finally the blank looking one is Hyunwoo with Minhyuk next to him,” Youngjae continues and Minhyuk salutes when he hears his name, “then we have Ravi and-where’s Leo?”

  
“I’m not playing, I’m just present to ensure my fool gets back safely,” Leo answers curtly from his seat on the bench.

  
“So sweet,” Minhyuk coos and Leo glares.

  
“Okay,” Youngjae continues, “then we have our lovely Thai student, Bambam. Next to him is –OH MY GOD, YOU MADE IT,”

  
Youngjae voice is almost deafening and a Cheshire cat smile spreads across his face in a mere second and even though Hyunwoo can’t be sure, it looks like Youngjae is smiling at him. Twisting his neck uncomfortably to see the newcomer, Hyunwoo feels his heart skip a beat. The blue tinted hair visible from a mile away. There’s no doubt that it’s him. Elation floods over Hyunwoo and he doesn’t know when but he soon feels his cheek strain from smiling too wide. He is obviously still drunk because a sober Son Hyunwoo does not smile like a fool when he sees his crush-his first crush ever.

  
But fuck, he has been waiting the whole night to see his beautiful crush and Hoseok doesn’t disappoint.

  
He shuffles over in his black tight skinny jeans with a narrow black button up shirt. The silhouette perfectly displays his narrow waist and shapely thighs. Hanging loosely at the junctions of his elbows is large knitted cardigan that overflows and lays limp beyond the tips of his fingers. Only a minuet bit of skin is visible on his arm between the end of shirt sleeve and the gathering of the cardigan at the junction but Hyunwoo can see the colours of the tattoos peak through the large knit when he steps into the path of the light bar. He bows a couple of time, apologising profusely but Youngjae soon hushes him and slots him between Baekhyun and himself. Diagonally across from Hyunwoo. Just where Hyunwoo wants him the most and the least.

  
Youngjae continues with the introduction but Hyunwoo is miles away. For the most part, Hyunwoo throws caution to the wind and allows himself drink in the sight before him. Hoseok’s blue hair swept back, revealing the grey hair stemming from the black roots. His eyes are heavily lined with kajol which contrasts beautifully with his crystal blue contacts. Sure, over past few Fridays Hyunwoo was given opportunities to admire the other but tonight was different. It’s as if everything about Hoseok had been heightened, from the pink lips curving into a feline smile to the crinkle of his eyes when he laughs. Hyunwoo feels everything fall away but when Jackson makes a crude joke and Minhyuk falls into Hyunwoo in laughter, his snapped back to reality and has the sudden urge to regain whatever composure he can manage. He feels too exposed, too naked, too unlike himself.

  
“So this basically, Here I have a simple empty soju bottle and things are gonna be a little different. So we have the top and the bottom of bottle right?” Daehyun explains as if he was explaining to a bunch of toddlers,” Yes. Whoever the top of the bottle lands on has to pick from truth or dare. There're two options for dare but if you decide you cannot obey any of those dares. Then gentlemen we have this.”

  
In the most dramatic manner possible, Daehyun pulls out a set of blue plastic shooter cups and raises it in the air triumphantly along with a series of cheers. The cheering soon roars louder when a bottle of tequila soon makes its holy presence and the group of males are gazing upon it as if it’s a gift from the heavens above.

  
“So,” Youngjae adopts his normal voice again as he passes the shooters around,” as I was saying, if you cannot obey the dare or answer the truth, you will have to take a penalty tequila shot with the person on the other side of the bottle; the bottom. A body shot that is.”

  
Hyunwoo doesn’t keep up with Youngjae but everyone else seems equally lost. Baekhyun proudly produces a container of lemon quarters, a salt grinder and what seems like a pack of tissues.

  
“In case your’ll wanna bitch about hygiene and all, I brought some Suho’s make-up wipes,” Baekhyun explains cheekily.

  
Hyunwoo can feel Suho’s mood darkening beside him but Baekhyun conveniently ignores it

 

“Sounds confusing,” Jimin comment and few murmur in agreement.

  
“It’s okay, I’ll explain as we go along,” Baekhyun speaks over the confusion.

  
Yongguk just rolls his eyes.

  
“First up is me,” Youngjae says surprisingly calmly.

  
He leans forward and spins the green bottle. Everyone but Jackson soon quiets down as they wait for the bottle to stop and when it does, Baekhyun is on his back cackling.  
The neck of the bottle is pointing at Suho.

  
Daehyun smiles manically and Suho braces himself for the worst, “truth.”

  
There’s a unison of whining because that was so typical but Suho looks unapologetic.

  
“I’ll get straight to the point. I’ve been seeing you a lot which makes no sense because you’re a law student. Are you dating Kris?” Youngjae sounds every bit sly as he looks.

  
It more or less gets everybody’s attention because Kris is known well enough for even Hyunwoo to recognise his name.

  
“Wait, the really tall blonde from the fine arts department?” Jackson yells into Suho’s ear.

  
“Yes, that Kris and no we are not dating,” Suho explains.

  
Everyone looks disappointed, except for Baekhyun who just looks relieved.

  
“But we regularly sleep with each. It’s a mutual benefits kinda thing, “He adds on casually.

  
After a moment of silence because no one, not Baekhyun or Youngjae, knows what to do with information, Jungkook clears his throat and the circle explodes with laughter and words of praise. Aside from Baekhyun who looks like his world has just ended.

  
Because

  
“Lucky you, his damn fine. Didn’t even know he was gay,” Jimin compliments.

  
“Not like you had a chance. Kris is scary as hell, always looking so uninterested and just bleh,”Jungkook interjects.

  
“You sound jealous,” Minhyuk accuses and Jungkook flusters.

  
Amidst the chatter, Suho spins the bottle and this time the bottle neck lands on Yongguk. Hoseok excitedly shuts everyone up and Hyunwoo smiles because his crush looks too pleased about the next victim being Yongguk. The contrast of two is astounding and Yongguk stares Suho down, almost daring him.

  
“Truth,”

  
“Again!” Bambam, Youngjae, Baekhyun and Jackson whine in unison.

  
“Don’t be so boring guys,” Jackson complains.

  
“Hey remember Yongguk is in a serious relationship with Himchan, so nothing too compromising, “Hoseok says between giggles because Yongguk is glaring him down with deadly looks.

  
“Very well the, what does Himchan call you in bed?” Suho asks and everyone is taken back.

  
Such implications doesn’t fit someone as vanilla as Suho. Eyes shift to Yongguk as they ‘oooh’ together.

  
The fairly flustered Yongguk trips over his own words,”o-oppa.”

  
In a blink of an eye, everyone is either lying on the ground or clutching their stomachs in laughter, everyone but Yongguk and Suho that is.

  
“OH…my god. I did not see that coming,” Minhyuk comments.

  
“No one did,” Jackson adds.

  
A very annoyed looking Yongguk reaches over and spins the bottle with almost no gumption. This time it lands on a face Hyunwoo is unfamiliar, who promptly picks truth.

  
“Okay, Jeonghan, are you sure you’re a boy?” Yongguk asks in a serious tone.

  
Hyunwoo doesn’t fault Yongguk because his being wondering the same thing himself and his not alone because there’s quite a few waiting patiently for the boygirl to answer, while Jungkook and Youngjae just try swallow their laughter. Quite honestly this Jeonghan person is just way too pretty with those long tresses.

  
“You wanna see my dick? Yes, I’m pretty sure I’m a male,” Jeonghan bites back in a surprisingly deep voice and everyone just nods like it was never an issue except Youngjae who’s still trying to suppress his laughter.

  
The annoyed males spins the bottle and there’s a squeal of delight from Jackson when the neck points to Jimin.

  
“Yaas, dare me,” Jimin excitedly gushes and Jeonghan looks amused.

  
“Okay have it your way. Remove your shirt and keep it off for the remainder of the game… or call Jackson daddy for the remainder of the game.” Jeonghan explains thoughtfully.

  
It’s a little too well thought out for a drunk person but Jeonghan looks like he's in top form.

  
“Aww, no offence Jackson,” Jimin shoots Jackson an apologetic look as he raises to his knee.

  
“None taken,”

  
Ever so slowly Jimin rolls up his shirt and stops when the crowd erupts in cheers. Hoseok has his fingers to lips as he whistles and Jimin strikes a pose before sliding out of the shirt completely. His abdomen is taunt and define with a fair share of muscles and he can feel eyes undressing him even further. After bowing and nearly tripping, his back on his ass with an unimpressed Jungkook next to him.

  
“Like what you see?” Jimin leers.

  
Jungkook immediately ‘hmphs’ and rolls his eyes, leaving a rejected Jimin to wither in his shirtlessness. Bambam throws him a thumbs up in an attempt to damage control.  
Pouting, Jimin reaches further into the circle and spins the bottle. This time it lands on a wide-eyed Ravi with a hyper Minhyuk excited by his side.

  
“Truth,” Ravi picks almost shamefully and Minhyuk, Jackson and Bambam sigh dramatically

  
“From all of us here, who would you fuck?” Jimin asks all the while grinning like a fool.

  
“That’s simple. Leo,” Ravi answers as if it’s obvious and Hyunwoo can hear Leo inhale sharply.

  
“No, from us here, in the circle,” Jimin interjects.

  
“Hmm, I would top Seokie,” Ravi says after some time.

  
“Who says you would top?” Hoseok shoots back and some of them are at loss for words.

  
“Seokie?” Jimin finally questions.

  
“He means Hoseok. He and Ravi are friends from somewhere,” Leo explains and everyone nods.

  
“Well it’s not like you have a lot of experience,” Ravi drawls.

  
“So that doesn’t mean I’m an automatic bottom,” Hoseok huffs.

  
“It kinda does,” Bambam points out.

  
Everyone looks a little taken but recover quickly, except Minhyuk and Baekhyun who still disbelieving.

  
Hyunwoo’s not sure what to do with this new piece of information. Honestly, he had expected Hoseok to have quite an extensive amount of experience, basing on the way he looks and a number of people his friends with. Not to say Hoseok looked cheap, just the way he carried himself with such confidence and ease and his outstanding choice of clothes and bold makeup choices. He exuded sex appeal.

  
After a bit of banter, Ravi finally spins the bottle and it lands on Baekhyun.

  
“Dare,” he declares.

  
Ravi looks puzzled as he tries to think up a dare.

  
”Okay, number one; lick Yongguk on the cheek or ….” His voice trails off.

  
Yongguk looks mortified by the dare and quickly prods, “Or what? Cause he def-“

  
The closest thing to a shriek leaves Yongguk lips as Baekhyun quickly swipes his tongue against his cheek.

  
Baekhyun looks pleased with himself, “a little salty.”

  
While, Yongguk is frozen, his face twisting in disgust as everyone laughs. Youngjae is so far gone, his hands are literally squishing his cheeks together as an attempt to control his laughter, while Hoseok is falling into him in a giggling fit.

  
It’s cute, Hyunwoo thinks.

  
He hadn’t known Youngjae and Hoseok to be close. Sure, he's seen both of them talk but there were very few people in the fake arts festival society that he hadn’t seen Hoseok talking to.

  
Happily, Baekhyun gets on his knees and spins the bottle. His face animatedly waiting for his victim.

  
Hyunwoo breath hitches when the bottle slows and finally stops on Minhyuk. The look of relief must be very evident because Bambam points it out.  
“Come at me,” Minhyuk yells, ”Dare.”

  
“You sure?” Baekhyun beams, his eyes narrowing mischievously.

  
“Damn right,” Minhyuk counters as he pushes himself off Hyunwoo’s shoulder.

  
“Okay, if you say so. Bite tall, tan and handosme’s lip next to you or sit on lap for the next ten minutes. And by tall, tan and handsome, I mean the one that’s not Ravi,” Baekhyun explains.

  
A light blush dust over Hyunwoo’s cheek and he doesn’t need to look to know that Hoseok’s eyes are on him. He wonders what he looks like to the other. Hyunwoo already resigned himself to be below the other’s range. Compared to Hoseok and his friends, Hyunwoo is just plain and basic and his pretty sure he must look like a fool smiling and blushing in his drunken state. He hates it when his bunny teeth show. He must look so-

  
Hyunwoo’s train of thought comes to a sudden halt as Minhyuk almost falls into him. The blonde’s laughing with everyone else as he ambles over one of Hyunwoo’s knees and finally resting in the space situated between Hyunwoo’s crotch and the cross of his folded legs. Smiling contentedly, Minhyuk throws up a peace sign and Hyunwoo looks blank as usual.

  
Stretching out his arms as Baekhyun’s rolls the soju bottle to him, Minhyuk leans uncomfortably out of Hyunwoo’s lap. He struggles a bit but eventually he manages to spin it and Jackson starts to applaud and Bambam and Ravi laugh. The bottle slows and halts with the neck pointing in Bambam’s direction. His ecstatic and immediately rises to his knees.

  
“Dare,”

Minhyuk humms thoughtfully as Hyunwoo struggles to get comfortable. His thankful though, he can at least watch Hoseok without being too obvious.

  
“Okay serenade Jungkook or. . . Lick Jackson’s nipple,” Minhyuk finishes with a smug smile.

  
“Seriously what the fuck,” Jackson exclaims but Minhyuk just shrugs in faux ignorance.

  
Bambam gets on his knees, his eyes leering and Jungkook knows his in danger. Bambam stands up and abandons his jacket and the cheering start. He almost resembles a peacock spreading his colourful feathers in an attempt to woo the other. Rolling his hips slightly, he slowly makes the short walk to Jungkook,” oooh ooooh,” He coos sexily as he gets down on one knee in front of Jungkook, ”I’m just tryna get you in the mood, Ooh ooh baby just show me what it do.”

  
The younger looks mortified, his cheeks burning up with every passing second, ”Oh my god.”

  
“NOW BLOW IT LIKE A FLUTE,” the crowd joins in as Bambam winks at Jungkook.

  
Jungkook’s instincts are telling to escape but he can’t show his weak. Instead, he steels his heart and swallows his embarrassment as Bambam continues harassing him.  
Finally setting his other knee on the ground, Bambam leans forward suggestively on all fours as he smirks and continues cooing ‘oohs’.

  
The group of males are in all sorts of hysterical states. Hoseok is singing along with Bambam but occasionally breaking to allow himself to laugh. Youngjae face is covered by his hands, his fingers slightly apart as to allow him to continue watching. Jackson, Ravi and Jimin are whooping and catcalling. Jeonghan and Suho just look amused as Yongguk tries his hardest not to erupt in laughter. At some point, Minhyuk has leant back into Hyunwoo as he laugh and Hyunwoo’s body shakes with Minhyuk’s laughter. The song must be pretty popular because everyone seems to know what’s coming next, even Yongguk. Hyunwoo makes a note to ask Minhyuk about it later.

  
“I been cooking up a stew. You boy, come through. Better get a hold or I’ma make that flower bloom ooh,” his faces inches away as he sings the last few words in a low whisper but Jungkook instinctively leans back as Bambam gets closer and the other’s laughter doubles into crippling fits and gasps of air.

Finally, giving up, Bambam backs up and makes his way back to his spot as he continues to teases, ”You wanna ride you wanna fly so I say where.”

  
Shrugging in disappointment, he throws Jungkook one last wink before spinning the bottle.

  
Hyunwoo feels the hair on his neck stand up as the bottle finally rests in Hoseok’s direction. Wherever his mind has been is long forgotten because goddamn, it's Hoseok’s turn and for some unknown reason, it excites Hyunwoo.

  
Hoseok struggles to gain his composure, his hair falling into his eyes as he pants. For a split second Hyunwoo lock gazes with him and he doesn’t miss the silver of smile gracing his pink lips.

  
“Dare,”

  
Hyunwoo didn’t expect anything else from him.

  
“Okay, Twerk for us or Kiss Youngjae,” Bambam chirps in excitement and everyone can see Hoseok regretting his bravery.

  
“Okay, uhm I don’t know about that hey,” Hoseok says between laughter and Youngjae just pats his back, which he replies to with a, ”No.”

  
Youngjae looks mortally offended and everyone laugh, including Hyunwoo this time.

  
Sighing and tossing his head back in frustration, Hoseok finally comes to a conclusion,” I’ll do the penalty shot.”

  
Hyunwoo doesn’t catch on as fast as everyone does because as they break out into a cheer, he suddenly feels cold water washing over. His nerves flaring up in a roar of excitement and suspense because the bottom of the bottle is pointing right at him. Of course, it is, his diagonally opposite Hoseok.

  
Was that smirk meant for him?

  
Ravi doesn’t miss the blank look upon Minhyuk’s face. Youngjae excitedly pours the tequila into Hoseok’s shooter glass and Yongguk squeals something about wasting alcohol when the glass soon overflows. Hyunwoo is still at loss and Suho just smiles at him.

  
“Minhyuk, get off now. Hyunwoo about to get some,” Bambam yells and Minhyuk huffs.

  
“I know I know,” His skinny body trying to find some balance and basically rolls out Hyunwoo’s lap, with the help of Ravi.

  
Carefully supporting Minhyuk till his safely planted on the ground, Hyunwoo finds himself at loss for words or actions. His palms are suddenly sweating as his heart is racing miles into the future. He doesn’t know which spins his world off its axle more, being close to Hoseok, touching Hoseok or the thought of Hoseok’s tongue on his skin, his fingers.

  
“You like him,” It’s almost a whisper and Hyunwoo doesn’t give away his inner amazement because how in the world did Suho see this.

  
“He likes you too, you can tell,” Suho says assuring and Hyunwoo just nods.

  
He's not sure whether to trust the older because how would he know but somewhere deep in Hyunwoo, Suho’s words was all he needed to calm himself. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but the feeling he had gotten from Suho was beyond that of a person just trying to be polite.

  
“Lie down,” Youngjae commands.

  
Abandoning any reservation, Hyunwoo feels another kind of energy course through his vein, a trail of heat and zeal spreading like wildfire. He rotates one hundred and eighty degrees, his back facing Hoseok before laying on his back.

  
Hoseok reminds himself that this just what he came for. Anything, any reason to get close to him and here he is. Hoseok had heard his name in the passing but tonight was the first opportunity he had to confirm. He hated and loved it all too much, how Hyunwoo made him feel. The butterflies and the sudden weakness in his knees. Oh’ how Hoseok ached for his attention but the other seemed miles away. So far from Hoseok’s reach, Somewhere Hoseok felt someone like him couldn’t reach.

  
But how he just wanted to have a taste of that tan skin. It paled in comparison to earning Hyunwoo’s affection and attention but something is better than nothing.

  
Upping his charisma and confidence, Hoseok crawls over to Hyunwoo, settling on knees on just a few inches away from Hyunwoo’s right shoulder. The circle of gay man are cheering him on, whistling and yelling all kinds of crude remarks. Hoseok smiles as he basks in the attention. He's used to this, this persona he has going on. This persona that Ravi and Youngjae stare through as if it’s made out of net but Hyunwoo wouldn’t know a thing.

  
There’s an odd vibe and Hoseok looks over to the blond that was in Hyunwoo’s lap, who's now watching him warily. It displeases Hoseok but he knew the blonde was by Hyunwoo’s side almost all the time. Hoseok has to remind himself that he didn’t have a chance anyway, so he might as well enjoy this.

  
The tan male is laying in front of him, staring directly into the night sky. His plain black tank displaying his impressive physic and Hoseok is tempting to trace the curve of his muscle but it’s his face that really has Hoseok at a loss of words. His eyes grazing over his plump lips, his smooth jawline and those adorable eyes miles. Those were his favourites, that or his lips. No, the bunny teeth smile coupled with those plump lips were his favourite.

  
“Come on Hoseok, I thought you were pro,” Yongguk quips and Youngjae hushes him.

  
The whooping starts again and Hoseok giggles. His sure there’s an impressive display of abs hidden underneath that tank but the very visible dip between his neck and collarbone prove too tempting. He smiles down at Hyunwoo, who offers a slight blush and adorable smile. Hoseok forces back his urge to gush over just how cute his crush is. Instead, he offers the lemon to Hyunwoo lips and the plump lips part slowly to take possession of the lemon quarter.

  
Hyunwoo is surprised the other male hasn’t heard his heart ready to start a parade. The thumping in chest is alarming but Hoseok offers him the most breathtaking smile, he feels everything melt away. He's too beautiful, this too surreal and Hyunwoo feels the whole night might be a jinx because people like Hoseok just don’t collide with people like himself.

  
But

  
But Hoseok’s gaze is so intense.

  
Hoseok cold fingertips brush the underneath of Hyunwoo’s chin in attempt to gain allowance to his neck. Satisfied with the position, Hoseok in all his vanity and overzealous, leans down and licks a stripe upon Hyunwoo’s cheek. It’s almost sweet and a tiny bit salty. The circle roars with cheers and applauses. Hyunwoo still underneath the warmth of his tongue, his not too sure how to take the males lack of reaction. Maybe this isn’t his kinda thing. Bodyshots is kind of a greasy thing to do.

  
Oh well. Once again he as to assure himself that he never had a chance anyway.

  
After grinding the salt upon the slickened cheek, Hoseok carefully retrieves the shot glass from Yongguk and raises it in a solo toast before bending down again. The liquid quickly fills up the allocated space and Hoseok eagerly leans in to suck up the bitter liquid. His lips purse together as he tries to pull in the alcohol as he would with a straw but it fails. So, latching lips around the dip , Hoseok tongue flicks against his skin as he sucks up the alcohol, lapping at it like a kitten lapping at a saucer of milk. Managing to take in most of the liquid, he releases the skin only to lick up the remainder of the alcohol. It’s oh so provocative and Hyunwoo struggles to maintain his calm façade. The skin underneath Hoseok’s mouth seems like it's on fire, hot and sensitive. There’s a moan clawing his way up his throat but he fights it down. His whole body is trying to communicate just how appreciative they are of Hoseok’s treatment, just how much they enjoy it but Hyunwoo can’t give in. It’s a game after all, not like Hoseok’s actions are meaningful. It’s just a game.

  
It’s sinful and Hyunwoo acts as if there’s no heat flourishing underneath the skin of his thigh, his stomach tightening as his nipples all of sudden make their presence known. Hoseok’s warm tongue coupled with the cold air hitting against his already wet skin is a recipe for disaster. Hyunwoo wants it to continue and stop all at the same time. The feeling of the other’s lip, his breath, his tongue, his saliva. It’s all too much to comprehend at once and Hyunwoo feels himself short circuiting. How did he even end up here?  
God must be testing him because it’s only moments after his finished with his neck that Hoseok’s mouth soon closes over the lemon piece that is placed between Hyunwoo’s plush lips. Everybody is almost losing their mind by the amount the noise they’re making but Hoseok seems unperturbed, taking his time. His eyes staring directly into Hyunwoo as he lowers himself upon Hyunwoo. they exchange intense gazes, Hoseok staring deeper into the depths of Hyunwoo's well guared core. His lips closing around the exposed lemon piece, suckling as the pressure of his lips squeezes more juice out of it. Which in turn flows into Hyunwoo’s mouth but his not complaining. Hyunwoo feels his chest tighten and wave heat taking him under. Hoseok’s hair has fallen over, now grazing against Hyunwoo’s skin and his dying to reach out and rake his hands through the tresses. Hoseok continues suckling, their lips grazing ever so slightly and his finally content. Biting into the lemon, Hoseok pulls away with the piece of lemon now in his mouth. His eyes are crescent moons and lips smile around the lemon piece. Leaving Hyunwoo wide eyes and in awe. Looking up at him, Hyunwoo throws caution to the wind for the second time that night but it last only for a minute because soon the voices start penetrating their bubble. He gets one last good look at Hoseok’s pink lips, crescent eyes and flushed skin before he gets up. His heart threatening to rip through his chest, shivers running down his spin, the sensation of Hoseok lips still lingering on his skin. It’s over just as it has begun.

  
Hoseok’s heart is still dancing out of tune as he returns to his place. His breath is shallow but he manages not to show it or at least he hopes its not showing. The warming sensation is something between immense delight and the sexual craving for more. Despite doubting himself, his happy that he hadn’t backed down from this opportunity. Hell, this is something he will never forget.

Probably just like how he would never forget Hyunwoo.


	2. II - Salted caramel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yongguk and Kidoh give good advice.  
> Hoseok decides to take it when he's high, drunk and at 6:13 in the morning. 
> 
> plus Hyunwoo is thirsty.

They say you never forget your first love.  Generally he never cared for the ‘they’ but his mother had said it once and so had Kidoh. Somehow Hoseok thought his time had expired. Was it really even okay to for a university student to feel this way, this giddy. Hoseok doubted it but every time he saw the other, even now as Hyunwoo is walking away with his drunken friend slung upon his arm, the uncomfortable sense of restlessness burns inside Hoseok. No, it’s the urge to call for his attention, to be acknowledged and maybe, just maybe accepted. He had never known or thought you could fall in love with someone you didn’t know. He just assumed that it was plain fairytail bullshit and yes, it was foolish. Love was such a strong word to describe the feeling he was experiencing but what else was there. It surpassed liking, it was different to adoring, far beyond preference. Nothing seemed to do justice to way he felt because he’s felt adoration, his felt attracted but he never felt this. Maybe his going out on a long shot by assuming it is love but he can’t forget. I guess only time will tell. It’s not enough though, no matter how he tries to reason with himself, none of his excuses seem enough.

“You could have just spoken to him,” Yongguk cuts through his musing.

“Like he was tipsy and you were four shots of tequila down,” Youngjae slurred.

Soon after Hoseok’s dare, the game was tossed aside in favour of consuming whatever alcohol Youngjae had in his backpack. A bottle of a tequila, another of sours and half a bottle of peach snupps looks like child’s play to the group of already intoxicated males. Needless to say, much of their bodily functions was withered down to that of a toddler. Jeonghan reluctantly agrees to accompany Jackson, Jimin, Jungkook and Bambam. At a distance of course, leaving the four of them to scramble and fend for themselves. It doesn’t help that Jimin is struggling to lug Jungkook’s unconscious body around. His youth hadn’t served him well. Despite the rather chaotic scene, Jeonghan had assured Youngjae that they would be safe. The remainder of them hang around for a bit until Suho convinces Baekhyun to leave which he complies after the twentieth plea. Minhyuk is completely shitfaced and Ravi finds joy in discussing theories of the universe with a drunk person, any drunk person. After a heated discussion of whether fishes can see the water, Leo whisks Ravi away and Hyunwoo takes it as a cue to do the same to Minhyuk. All the while Youngjae and Hoseok nod along with the Yongguk and Ravi’s discussion, as if they’re some critics evaluating a debate.

“Yeah but,” Hoseok didn’t have a definite answer as to why he didn’t engage the other further.

“I set this all up just for you. You licked his face. What’s so hard in asking the dude for his number? Hell just ask how he is. Something,” Youngjae says loudly and Hoseok panics.

“Relax his pretty far,” and true to Yongguk’s words,  Hyunwoo’s nowhere in sight but its dark.

“Its just.” Hoseok struggles.

“Just what?” Yongguk persists as Youngjae’s head lolls upon his shoulders.

“Come on Hoseok. Its fucken for three in the morning and we’re all drunk. Well apparently everyone but you and Yongguk but he never gets drunk without Himchan. So spill.” Youngjae is on the ground again, his red eyes staring up Hoseok.

“I can’t get drunk. Well I was but then I look at him and automatically I think I’m gonna do something stupid. So like my body does some auto sobering shit and I’m back to control but then I’m just restless. Cause I don’t have the balls to say shit to him. Like I prep the whole evening just to throw a casual ‘hi’ at him at the studio and that too, I only do it because I’m greeting those around him as an excuse just to greet him,” Hoseok walls crumble as he does and soon his on the ground next to Youngjae in a heap.

“That is stupidest shit I have heard,” Yongguk points out and Hoseok groans.

“Okay, look here. Ignore Yongguk and listen to me,” Youngjae somehow manages.

“Because you have so much experience right?” Yongguk cuts in.

“Oh please, you were a mess yourself. Poor Himchan had to- hiccup- put in all the work,” He replies.

“Back to the point,” Hoseok tries to redirect them.

“Point is. You. Will. Never. Know.-“ Youngjae doesn’t get far.

“That’s all you got?” Hoseok ask in disbelief.

Youngjae just looks sheepish as his redden cheeks puff up.

“What’s really the problem?” Yongguk deep voice fills the air and Hoseok feel the serious undertones.

Hoseok and Yongguk hadn’t been too familiar with each until recently when Yongguk had suddenly shown an interest in the art of irezumi. Even in the depths of Hongdae, there had only been one certified Tebori artist and he was not interested with a university student. Ironically enough, the were rumours of a few first years who had interest in tattooing and Yongguk thinks it was fate that his path collided with Hoseok’s. Just like the traditional Japanese, Yongguk had been keen on receiving a tattoo at the recommendation of the tattoo artist. Hoseok was all too eager to attend to Yongguk but felt the need to grow familiar with him in order to create and appropriate design.  So it’s fair to say they share somewhat of a bond because Hoseok knew things not even Himchan knew. The unsaid that lead Yongguk to pursue such extremes to commemorate.

“I don’t feel good enough,” Hoseok almost whispers.

Youngjae doesn’t catch it but Yongguk does.

“Why the hell not?”

“Why would he be interested in me? I’m gay, flamboyant, overbearing and just about all those things that allude to a delinquent. My hair is blue and my tattoos are more colourful than a freaken children’s colouring book. I don’t know Bang. I just don’t. He just seems so pristine and I never thought I cared about people. But all of sudden I don’t feel up to standard. Stupid, I know,” Hoseok’s voice trails off into the night.

“You care about the people that are important to you. It’s not pathetic. Its instinct, those who make us happy, its only natural we want to make happy as well,”

Happy? Important? Words that Hoseok hadn’t thought about. Hyunwoo made feel a lot of things. Hoseok longed, Hoseok craved, Hoseok flustered, he blushed, he stuttered but in the end Hyunwoo always made him smile.

“Hoseok don’t judge him unfairly. So if his so pristine, you telling me he’s some asshole who judges people based on their appearance? Is he that basic?” Yongguk enquires.

“No, of course not. Not that I think,” Hoseok defends.

“What you think is pointless unless you intend on confirming it, which you aren’t. Hoseok, what do you feel?” Yongguk asks solemnly.

“I feel his a really nice guy. Like his caring and considerate. The reliable and trustworthy type. Am I being dumb, only seeing the good because it’s not like I know him?” Hoseok words run circles around him.

“Fair enough, you don’t know him. Then don’t go around deciding things for him. What you think and what you feel are different. You think with your head and factor in all kind of external factors but when you feel, it’s just based on the energy you’re receiving from him. Which do you trust?” It really wasn’t a question but more of an opening dialogue because Yongguk can feel it; what Hoseok really needs is confidence in self.

That’s something Yongguk can’t really help him with aside from nudging him in the right direction. From here on, it’s all on him.

There’s a light snore coming from Youngjae who’s sprawled out on the ground with his mouth hanging open. He looks all types of wrecked and his definitely gonna feel this later.

“We should get him to his dorm,” It’s the only thing Hoseok can use to distract himself with.

“Yeah, we should,” Yongguk agrees.

Hoisting Youngjae up, Yongguk slings the other’s arm around his neck and circle Youngjae’s waist with his arm. It’s not the most practical but Yongguk is far from large and Hoseok is even worse off. Dragging Youngjae as they amble towards his dorm, Hoseok follows in a step and sway manner with a backpack filled with empty bottles and shooter cups on his back. Oh they were definitely going to feel this later.

-

The second Hyunwoo opens his eyes, he feels the intense urge to shut them once again. His head, his eyes, his everything just hurts like a sonuvabitch. Running his hand through his short hair, he groans when he feels his shoulder blade tightening. How did he manage that? Abandoning his attempts to fall back to sleep, Hyunwoo grits his teeth as he gets up. The room spins and his back aches from sleeping on his not so comfortable couch. He really needs a new couch, his sister may have thought this wicker thing was cute but it sure as hell doesn’t feel cute. Especially not after a night of drinking and carrying a sleeping Minhyuk. He really should check up on his blonde friend. Digging in his pocket, Hyunwoo retrieves his for which serves no purpose because it’s dead. Guess he’ll have to check up on Minhyuk later.

Dragging himself to the kitchen, he gulps down water like its coffee. The liquid enhances the alcoholic aftertaste and as much Hyunwoo appreciates his parched throat being cured, he could do without the acidic bile rising in his throat.

The microwave clock read 13:25

Most of the day is gone. Choking back more water, Hyunwoo tries to stretch but fails. Giving up, he opts to brush the yucky taste out of his mouth and try to ease his sore muscles with a hot shower. The brushing seems to be problematic because he can’t really seem to get rid of that awful taste. That bitter of taste tequila. Underneath the stream of hot water, he feels his cheeks flaring. The bad after taste doesn’t seem so awful anymore, not when it’s accompanied with the sensation of Hoseok’s lips on his skin. The tingling begins, the heat spreading under his skin is suffocating. The visualisation of Hoseok on his knees, his wide eyes and those lips. Cherry dipped in tequila rolling against his skin. The sensation of his hot tongue pressed against his neck.  Hyunwoo feels himself strain, his member erecting, his stomach tightening. He can feel Hoseok’s breath ghost against his chest accompanied with the hot water slipping against the grooves of his muscles. His body raw with agitated nerves craving stimulation. Hyunwoo’s eyes are clenched tight as he lets the memories pour over him. . Latched on, Hoseok’s lips suckling, pulling him deeper until his empty. His hand tightening around the base of his cock, squeezing in frustration as he pulls against the skin so slowly. Savouring the fluidity of Hoseok’s lips, the sounds he made. Hyunwoo can feel his body shiver with each passing moment as he uses one hand to stabilise himself against the shower glass, the other wrapped around himself tightly, wringing himself dry. His sensory peaking as the memories of the sets him into over drive. His hand working furiously to keep up with desperation. Tossing his head back in ectasy, his semen comes out in short burst against the steamed glass.  His body goes rigid before his joints release in exhaustion. He sees white but when he opens his eyes, all he can see is the smirk playing on Hoseok’s feline lips, the way his eyes sparkled as he lowered his lips on to lemon. It displeases Hyunwoo, so it discards it. Rather revelling in how hot Hoseok’s tongue would feel in his mouth as his body shudders from the post orgasm strain.

The tiniest of whispers leaves his lips, ”Hoseok.”

This was not what his body needed after a long night but it was reluctantly welcoming.

Hyunwoo’s never wanted something so much, yet alone someone.

 

After the shower of sin, Hyunwoo collapses on his bed. His bare moist skin meets with the cool air and the soft cotton of his duvet. A moan almost escapes his lips when his strained body sinks into plush depth of his bed. This is what he needs, his skin breathes freely as the inner heat still present from the hot shower escapes into chilly air. It’s a soothing sensation and he feels completely limp. He had pushed himself, he rarely goes to gym on the days when he was overly exerted in class but he hadn’t seen the harm. It wasn’t like he intended on staying out till late. He really thought he would have a few drinks catch a glimpse of Hoseok, maybe a greeting and soon head home with a tipsy Minhyuk. That came crashing down in the most extravagant of manners. Eyes close, his lips gives way to a toothy smile. Not like his complaining.

But

Suho’s words whispers into the calm of his mind like an embarrassing memory. Hyunwoo doesn’t want to think into it. He doesn’t know this Suho person from a bar of soap but Hyunwoo had sense it, Suho’s eyes observantly taking notes like he’s in class. His true nature overshadowed by his politeness and straight cut mannerism.

Is that enough though?

The idea of Hoseok returning his feelings feels so foreign, Hyunwoo clenches his eyes tighter. He tries to repress ridiculous thought further and further because his not sure how to deal with this. His not sure how it feels to be rejected but right now the likelihood of rejection feels like pure dread and yet he wants to continue to fantasize about the other even more.

_Maybe I’m a masochist._

It's sweet torture because no matter how far he runs, like the sun in sky, Hoseok follows him and he can’t find it in himself to turn away from the warm rays.

_Ring Ring_

Hyunwoo groans because the damn landline is set on a Christmas a jingle and he can’t, for the life of him, figure out how to change it. All thanks to his sister of course.

Prying himself away from his bed, not bothering to cover up his naked body, Hyunwoo waltz into his lounge. The blinds are still drawn and the room is partially lit from the large window in the kitchen.

“Hello,” what else can he say?

“What the hell Hyunwoo. I’ve been phoning you for like the past three hours. All I got is your voicemail. Dude, do you how worrying that is after waking up underneath my bed.  Seriously ,” Minhyuk is soon out of breath.

“I’m fine Minhyuk and why were you under your bed. I personally put you in bed,” Hyunwoo says.

“I don’t know. Alcohol makes me do stupid things,”

“Like sleep under your bed?”

“Yeah and I wake up and my room mate is casually browsing through my phone like it’s nothing,” Minhyuk complains in a low whisper.

“I’m sure it was harmless,” Hyunwoo assures.

“It’s an invasion of my privacy but whatever. He’s creepy as fuuck. Let’s grab a bite to eat,”

“Really Minhyuk, its super late,” Hyunwoo groans.

“By super late you mean like three?”

He killed almost two hours in the shower. Can’t be. Maybe he dozed off in the bed. Anyway, his body could do with some nutrients. Coffee would be good, so good.

“Fine I’ll meet you at Winston’s. Next twenty minutes?” Hyunwoo makes up his mind.

“Woah hold on, half an hour. I still gotta dry my hair and shit,” Minhyuk counters and Hyunwoo just chuckles.

There’s a smile on Minhyuk’s lip because it feels comfortable, Hyunwoo’s chortle deep and heavy. He can imagine his best friend’s eyes almost sealed as his lips give way to a gummy smile.

“Later,”

“Later,” Minhyuk mimics.

After lazing about in the nude, Hyunwoo reluctantly pulls on a pair of boxers and some grey sweater pant. After some fishing in his cupboard, he decides on a black sleeveless hoodie with red supreme logo across it. Setting aside his usual converse, he heads for his black nike air prestos. He’s in need of their comfort. Grabbing a random snap back because his hair is the least of his problems, he heads out with not so much of as an after thought of charging his phone.

-

“OH MY God,” Hoseok screeches before sinking back into Kidoh’s sofa.

“What? Hoseok, what’s wrong?” Kidoh’s calls out before bolting out his bedroom.

The alarm soon diminishes when his met with the pitiful sight of Hoseok trying to bury himself further into the sofa.

“Hoseok,” he calls out, standing behind the sofa.

The only reply he gets is a hum of acknowledgment.

“What are you doing?” Kidoh asks warily.

No reply.

“Hoseok, are you okay?” he persists as he nears the sofa.

No reply.

“Are you hurt?”

“KIDOH!” the pile of explodes and Kido is suddenly confronted with the wide eyed creature he calls his friend.

He looks like a mess. His cheeks puffed and pink with red eyes dark with smudged kajol. His eyebrows are knitted together tightly as his dry lips frown but the thing that really worries Kidoh is the crazy look in the his eyes.

“I fucked up. I fucked up so badly,” he continues and promptly covers his face with his palms as he falls back into the sofa.

“Okay, it can’t be that bad Seokie,” Kido tries to comfort him as he slowly nears the sofa.

“Oh no it is,” Hoseok says in abnormal gruff voice, “ look. LOOK!”

Kidoh is officially more puzzled than he is worried. He stumbles backwards and somehow manages to catch Hoseok’s phone, which is a miracle because Hoseok’s eyes are squeezed tight again. His not quite sure what his looking for.

“Password genius?”

“seven seven seven seven,”

Sighing, Kido enters the password and the anime lockscreen soon opens up to message tab with the contact reading ‘TAN’.

“who’s tan?” Kidoh questions the train wreck on his sofa.

“Just read,” Hoseok instructs as he pulls the orange duvet over his head.

Picking up his bong from the single seater and setting it down on the wooden floor, Kido takes a seat before he reads further.

Hoseok feels like his holding breath waiting for Kidoh. Memories of the early morning dawning on him. Too bad it’s too late.

-

_Hours earlier_

Youngjae is safe and sound in Dorm room and Daehyun, his roommate, promises to take care of him. Yongguk knew they had a thing, so he didn’t push further. Hoseok and Yongguk walk for another ten minutes in silence before Hoseok splits and heads to his dorm. Somehow he manages to climb the two flights the stairs leading to his room. His mind is whirling around Yongguk’s words. Visualization of Hyunwoo lying under him invading his mind and he openly shakes his head in an attempt to chase it away but the blush blooming across his cheeks just won’t quit. He just needs to sleep and give his mind a break from Hyunwoo.  That’s right, that’s what he needs.

Unlocking his door, he doesn’t move more than foot through the door before he nostrils are filled with the smoke of…burning charcoal? Opening the door wider, Hoseok thinks he just might be drunk after all. Switching the light on just because it seems rational, he’s met with a sight that…he’s not quite sure anymore.

“Hi,” Sawako speaks up when the light floods through the space, “we didn’t think you would be back. Can you switch off the light, it messes with the energies.”

Huh?

Hoseok does as he’s told but is still mindful enough to take not of the burning candles, dagger and is that an alchemy circle drawn on the floor?

His not quite sure what to do. So he just stands there in awe of the glow emitting from a bowl between his room mate and his girlfriend. His pretty sure candles aren’t allowed, not to mention that pot of burning incense? Coal? Yep, definitely a fire hazard. Maybe he should tell the but then again a dagger was also part of the set up. Nah, he rather not.

“It’s okay. You can come in. We won’t kill you or anything. This isn’t a sacrifice ritual or anything,” She whispers.

Oh, isn’t that comforting.

“Killua is reaching out to the dark one. To offer our joint souls to his army. Sorry but the full moon is out tonight and it enhances all spiritual passages. And this room has such a perfect view, it just felt right to do it now,” she actually sounds apologetic.

“So Killua?”

“Oh his not here. Well his body is here but his spirit isn’t. His-”

“Gone to visit the dark one,” Hoseok completes.

“Yeah,” she chirps,” we’re going to solidify our bond in the eyes of the great one.”

So they’re basically getting married.

“Uhm this seems like a private thing, I’m just gonna crash at a friend’s. So yeah, congratulations,” He offers as he steps backwards out of his door.

“Thanks,” she whispers and he promptly closes the door and locks it.

What the actual fuck.

Oh well. Hoseok checks his options, which are limited because he feels bad crashing with someone with a room mate. So that leaves his selected friends that live off the premises, which means a long ass walk. Sighing yet again because really all he needs is his mind to switch off, maybe reboot after a peaceful hibernation.

That was far off, so for now, he sets upon his journey to neverland.

The journey is far off from the one peterpan took. Hoseok’s journey was dark, creepy and lit by the moon and his phone torch. It doesn’t help that he actually remembers whatever nonsense his satanic roommate’s girlfriends had spouted.

And maybe the light of the full moon projecting a lot of shadows and maybe Hoseok thought he saw a couple of them move.

So what?

So what if Hoseok’s heart is racing like Castor Semenya at the Olympics? So what if he feels something following him? It’s not like its real, it’s just his mind playing tricks on him. So what the fuck is he sprinting through campus like a mad man for? By the time he hits the back road, he can feel his knees wobble beneath him as he gasps for air. The area is particularly unsavoury with a number of bars, clubs and street merchants catering for the adventure seeking students. Although to Hoseok’s surprise, it was largely desolate. Which worries him further. Picking up the pace, he soon reaches the red door, a large neon light reading ‘lucid tattoo’ hanging above it.

Trying his best not to look like a complete weakling, Hoseok manages a steady knock. There’s no reply and repeats the action more urgently. Relief floods through him as soon as he hears the door unlocking. He inhales and then exhales, trying to feign indifference. He was so not freaking out. That too crumbles because instead of seeing his friend, the first thing Hoseok is greeted with is the barrel a colt 1911.

Okay, his terrified once again.

“Jesus fucken Christ Kidoh,” Hoseok breathes out, the barrel barely an inch from his face.

Kidoh peaks his head out and Hoseok can immediately tell that he’s high.

His red eyed friends lowers the gun and Hoseok can feel himself breath again.

“It’s like four in the morning,” Kidoh points out, as he walks retreats into his parlor, Hoseok in tow.

“Lock the door,” Kido calls out and Hoseok obeys.

They walk in silence across the black and white chequered tiles of the parlour till they reach the stairs situated in the back. The parlour is fairly spacious with an open planning and walls covered in stylistic designs. Kidoh’s specialty being the delicateness of wispy colours and natural flow of brush stroke, his walls too are covered in light and airy designs. A gangster that works in water colours.

A floor above the parlour is Kidoh’s apartment. The place is covered with a haze of smoke and it reeks of marijuana.

“Your timing is perfect,” he comments from the kitchen.

“Is that why you had a gun to my face?” Hoseok enquires as he settles on the sofa.

The coffee table is covered with pictures of flowers. Hoseok is no flower expert but his pretty sure the flower in the picture is an iris. He watched an anime once where they spoke about iris representing happiness of the believer. It’s pretty.

"You can never be too sure in this place,” he defends.

He settles down next Hoseok, shoving the photos aside to allow for glass jar and two shot glasses.

Hoseok knows instinctively he should refuse. He may not be drunk but all the alcohol his devoured in the wee hours of the morning cannot be healthy. Plus, drinking session with Kidoh are never just drinking sessions. No, they’re confession sessions, therapy sessions and something between loving each other and being brutally honest.

He should but he doesn’t because he just ran a marathon and had a gun in his face. He deserves something strong and Kidoh’s taste never disappoints. Secondly, what else is your college days for if not for inflicting irreparable damage to your kidney?

“You sure you just weren’t paranoid cause you’re high,” It was a genuine possibility.

Kido just shrugs, his hand expertly swirling the jar gently before filling the two glasses with a milky substance.

“Drink up, courtesy of my client’s grandmother,” he passes Hoseok glass.

Hoseok can immediately tell its not normal Makgeolli. Despite the thick scent of marijuana in the air, he can smell the sweetness. He sips it first before swallowing the remainder in a single shot. Definitely not normal Makgeolli.

“Yuja?” Hoseok asks as Kidoh reaches to fill his glass again.

It’s pleasant, the milky velvet coating paving the way for small airy burst of citrus fused with the bitterness of the rice alcohol. Hoseok preferred it over the usual makgeolli but Kido was never one for sweet substances.

“Yep, home-made yuja Makgeolli,” Kidoh smiles as downs another glass.

“Same client?” Hoseok asks he gesture to the various iris pictures.

“Yeah, she’s had it pretty tough,” Kidoh says casually as he retrieves a box cigarettes from his pockets,” You know it’s been a while since I’ve done a tattoo with actual meaning. Like most of them are fuck boys, they just see some cool shit and wanna put it on their skin.”

“So you want to make it perfect,” Hoseok adds and Kidoh smiles sheepishly around the cigarette in his mouth.

“Maybe,”

Oddly enough the conversation is light, majority of it consisting of banter and a few stories of some unsavoury clients and Hoseok newlywed roommate. They’re skirting around issues, Hoseok can tell but he isn’t eager to divulge his current dilemma either. This was exactly the kinda break Hoseok needed. At approximately five in morning, Hoseok is finally drunk. The jug is emptied and Kidoh refills it half way. It’s easy to pass over the alcoholic taste with the citrus flavour, so Hoseok doesn’t spare his senses any mind. His face is numb and so are his fingers clasped around the glass and he holds it extra tight just in case.

_Ping_

Pulling out his phone which still has an impressive amount of battery life, his fingers featherlight touches seem unable to unlock the phone. He taps harder, repeatedly over the digit seven and Kidoh just watches him silently.

Yep, Hoseok was drunk.

Finally managing to unlock his phone, he sees a message from Xiao. His not the least bit surprised. She’s an early riser. Also, she’s been sending pictures at all kind of random hours since she decided to get her first tattoo. This time its picture of a peony illustrated in ink washes.

“Hey Kidoh, peonies are the Chinese national flower?” Hoseok isn’t sure where but he thinks he read it somewhere.

“Mmm not really. Like the Qing dynasty declared their national flower but that was ages ago. I don’t even know if china has one now,”

It made sense as to why Xiao would want it. A part from Yongguk, Hoseok other main focus is Xiao. He knows she’s been having a hard time considering her nationality and her abilities. As far South Korea’s relationship with China goes, things are stable but there’s still undertones of unease. It’s easy to watch Xiao in all her glory, her body twisting like a fish as she swims through the air. Gymnastics was her passion but she had been in South Korea since she was six. Yet, he knows she still wonders if she should return to China. He too had that same dilemma when it came to his own nationality.

He scrolls through the gallery, looking for a specific picture to show Kidoh but instead Hoseok stumbles upon something else. The change in mood is evident because Kido scoots over to his side, peering at the screen.

Yes, Hoseok screenshot a picture of Hyunwoo’s contact on Youngjae’s phone and sent it to himself. Yes, Hoseok might just have what it takes to become a stalker.

“Who’s that?” Kidoh finally asks when Hoseok makes no attempt to move.

He doesn’t answer but his thumb swipes across the screen and soon a picture of male appears.

Yes, Hoseok stole a picture of Hyunwoo off Youngjae’s phone. His not proud of himself.

“I like this,” Hoseok finally constructs a proper sentence, his pouts at the phone.

“You mean you like him,” Kidoh corrects.

“Don’t correct me when you’re just as drunk,” Hoseok counters in annoyance but he knows it’s not true.

Makgeolli isn’t really that strong of a drink.

“Whatever, at least I make sense,”

“I make sense. Just my lisp, my tongue is all weird,”

“Thick, you tongue is thick,”

Hoseok just rolls his eyes and Kidoh giggles.

“He’s some blogger or something?”

“No, he’s a guy from college,’

“Then what the fuck you doing? Hit that ass up,” Kidoh says excitedly as he slings an arm over the other’s shoulders.

“Like I’m afraid,” despite being drunk, Hoseok avoids words that emphasise his lisp, words like ‘scared’.

“Uh,”

“What if he rejects me,” Oh gawd, the words won’t stop coming,” like what if I’m not his type. I don’t know what I’ll do. Like if I keep at this distance, then I’ll never know but that mean there’s still a chance…but. It’s like what you said in school. Remember when we would watch Xiao at her performances and there would be a whole bunch of chicks there. You would always pass comments and praise them but you never did anything. Remember what you told me when I asked you why?”

“No idea,” Kidoh answers honestly.

“You said you don’t want to ruin it. Like they’re easy on the eye and you didn’t want to break that facade by actually talking to them because if they’re annoying or clingy or all slutty; it ruins it and you can never see them the same again,”

Damn it, he can feel it. The alcohol’s hold diminishing.

“Oh,” sounds like something he would say.

“Like this is bad but it could be worst but I’ll never know,”

“Oh, I thought you like really liked him. Got me all excited,” Kidoh says as he lets go of his friends and reaches for another cigarette.

“What! I really do like him. Like I can’t explain to you. His-“

“Then don’t compare to some random chicks because that’s exactly what those girls were to me; random. Here how it goes; things of worth never come easily because if it was that easy, it wouldn’t be valuable,” luckily Kidoh is the mystic drunk type.

“You sound like Bang,” Hoseok says in a whisper.

“Then there must be some truth in it then,” Kidoh comments as he hands Hoseok another glass.

The jug is almost done. Instead of a cigarette, Kidoh is lighting up a joint. He must have rolled it before Hoseok came over.

“Here, it will put you to sleep good,” Kidoh advises as he hands the joint to Hoseok.

His marijuana use have been drastically decreasing since he entered college. He hardly has time to just chill, there’s always something on his mind or someone. He almost misses getting high and just floating. Don’t get it wrong, Hoseok loved college. The people he met here was amazing, he’s never felt inspired and at peace before. He can let his hair down and just be, instead of always being spectated. It’s safe to say he's never been the one to shy away from attention but that’s just Hoseok being stubborn and doing things his way, despite the consequences. Now, there are no consequences. Nope, just Hoseok being the wild child he was meant to be.

Oh there was some good stuff in that joint. At some point, Kidoh retreats into the bedroom but not before tossing an orange comforter on the sofa. Hoseok has no recollection of how the duvet got there or when Kidoh left but the joint is done and the jug is empty. Hoseok is sunken into the couch, his eyes focused on the moving diamond pattern on the roof. He's never really taken notice of it before, it’s fine engraving in the cream surface of the roof.

Pretty.

It feels nice, the air around is light and the room suddenly feel a lot more spacious than before.  If only for a second, Hoseok swears he can taste air. There’s also something, yuja? The tequila? Taste of Hyunwoo’s skin?

Yep, that’s it.

The taste of salted caramel under his tongue.

In the haze of his high, speaking to Hyunwoo doesn’t seem so like such a drastic leap. He should be honest with him. Generally Hoseok’s only problem is him being too honest. Then why now, faced with a being that completely enchants him, should he cower? Slowly slowly, he sifts through the haze in mind. Searching through a maze of lies and insecurities. There’s no answer but Kidoh lied. Tucked into the warmth of the duvet, his head sunken into the cushion, Hoseok’s eyes won’t seem to close. His growing tired of trying to find the answer. He thought he had it, he thought being honest was the key. Even now, making up his mind to speak to Hyunwoo the next time he sees him, just isn’t enough to lead him to the heart of the maze. His tired from the long night, the emotions fluctuating inside his chest, the thoughts swirling in his head. He just wants him. How or when can wait. He needs him.

He knows that it’s a greater feat than it sounds and for now, far out of his reach but his phone isn’t. He should at least get the ball rolling.

Reaching from the comfort of the duvet, his limbs just make it to retrieve the phone off the table.  His fingertips no longer feel foreign to him, they make haste. Swapping through the colourful until he lands on the screenshot. It makes his heart race but his determined to deal with this head on, when his high, slightly drunk and at 6:13 in the morning.

Switching between his gallery tab and phonebook tab, he manages to transfer the number. Hastily saving the contact under the name ‘TAN’. Now, the part he hadn’t thought about. He should phone if it’s important but it’s so early. Secondly his lisp is running amok, so that’s a definite no. A message will just have to convey his feelings for him. A message via phone is pretty lackluster but it will have to do. Hoseok is in desperate need of sleep.

So a message it is.

There’s a moment of terror, Hoseok’s joints locking in the face of his adversary.

No turning back.

There’s too much going on, too much which Hoseok wants to say. He searches through the multiple shelves in his head, digs in all the hidden treasure chest of his castle. It’s all too bland, too simple, too expected. His lost back in the maze before he knows, staring at the stone walls at his side. It’s too tight, the walls are too close. It suffocates him. What was he trying to do in the first place? What was the answer again? Talk to him and tell him?

The truth

TAN

I like you

_Sent [6:32]_

I don’t know really but u make feel things I can’t explain. So I don’t really know what to say but for the sake of my sanity; I like u a lot, probably more than like.

_Sent [6;34]_

The breath he didn’t even know he was even holding is suddenly released. His windpipes seemingly more relaxed, allowing him to breathe deeply. The cool air soothing the heat in his chest. The weight has been lifted and he can feel the tension in his shoulder blades give way. He should have done this sooner. He can feel the hands of sleep creeping across his body, their welcoming touch spreading heaven in their wake. He’s almost there when the realization dawns on him. How would Hyunwoo know it’s him? His hands search through the duvet for his phone. The tab is still open and there’s no hesitation.

It’s Hoseok. I have blue hair

_Sent [6:40]_

Oyasumi

_Sent [6:40]_

Hoseok thanks the Gods for spellcheck and soon drifts off into dreamless slumber.

-

_Present time_

“Oh wow,” Kidoh says lamely.

He looks up to see an almost lifeless Hoseok gazing at him. It sends chills down his spine.

“Hey, look it could be worst?” Kidoh tries, he really is.

“Like how it’s two in the afternoon and he has completely ignored my text,” Hoseok replies robotically.

Kidoh just swallows thickly. He’s at a loss for words and he knows he has to come up with something. Something comforting. Oh this is bad, Hoseok is the comforter. So basically he needs to do what Hoseok would do.

What would Hoseok do?

He doesn’t have much time and grabs for the first idea that seems within Hoseok’s tendency. Something Hoseok is known for in their circle of friends.

Getting up, he hesitantly makes his way to living corpse on his sofa. Hoseok just stares at him, his legs crossed underneath him as his arms hang limp at his side. There’s an awkwardness and Kidoh is eager to overcome it. Sealing his eyes shut, he lunges forward, his knees sink into the sofa and his bare arms wrap around Hoseok’s narrow shoulders. It is beyond awkward, Kidoh on his knees at Hoseok’s side. His right arm is wrapped around the front of Hoseok’s chest, hooking around his left shoulder. Kidoh’s left arm has somehow wedged itself behind Hoseok’s neck. Oh it feels so unnatural, Kidoh squeezes his already shut eyes tighter as his forehead rests on Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Kidoh…are you hugging me?”

Kidoh just smile because he can hear the amusement in Hoseok’s voice.

It was worth it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for errors.
> 
> Yuja; is a tart, sweetish, citrus fruit has a taste between a lime, lemon, orange and grapefruit, with a strong, fresh smell that's totally unique.
> 
> Makgeolli; This unfiltered rice wine is Korea’s oldest liquor. Made from nothing more than fermented rice, yeast, and water, makgeolli typically contains 6 to 8 percent alcohol, is often milky and semi-sweet, and slightly fizzy from the fermentation process.
> 
> Tebori; is the Japanese practice of tattooing by hand. It is usually performed using a rod made of either wood or metal with an array of needles on the end.
> 
> Irezumi; are traditional Japanese tattoos that have a history extending back at least 1700 years. Irezumi from the edo-era show obvious influences from ukiyo-e, a genre of art that can literally be translated 'pictures of the floating world'.  
> (artist to note; Horiyoshi)
> 
> if anything doesn't seem to add up, ask and i'll explain.(if i can)
> 
> ^0^


	3. II - Friend of a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok is drama queen and Hyunwoo doesn't feel like playing the fool.
> 
> plus BangHim and slight DaeJae moment.

It was ridiculous, Hoseok knew that much. Kidoh had enlisted the help of Xiao, deeming himself incapable of dealing with a heartbroken Hoseok. His friend had handed him a towel with assurance that Xiao would pick up some clothes from his dorm. Hoseok was too far gone to even resist. The last thing he wanted to deal with was his roommate and the girlfriend in all their newly satanic wedding bliss.

Showers was always pleasant for Hoseok. It was a place for him to zone, his hands moving according to routine. Today that wasn’t the case, the steady stream of water just seem to isolate him as to allow the dreadful memories to torment him. He shakes his head angrily, his eyes sealing shut at the mere thought of his earlier actions. The embarrassment burning through his face.  He doesn’t want to remember. Just like how doesn’t want to acknowledge the pang of pains plaguing his chest. His head is buzzing with regret. It hurts, his chest, his eyes, everything hurts. There’s an odd sensation situated in the middle of his abdomen, it’s uncomfortable. Hoseok hates it.

Maybe he wasn’t good enough after all.

He thinks all the things he know he shouldn’t, all the things he knows aren’t the truth and yet he’s wondering.

Why?

Guess I’m just not his type.

And Hoseok hates it.

Hates it even more because the rejection hasn’t dull the attraction or the yearning.

He thinks foolish things, things like if only Hyunwoo gave him a chance, things like how dearly he would love him, how lovingly he would treat him, how loyal he would remain till the very end. If only, if only.

 

True to words, Kidoh has Hoseok’s clothes laid out across his bed. It's basic; a ripped black jeans, a loose grey hoodie and pair of boxers decorated with pokeballs. It was Christmas present from Xiao from like two years back. He hadn’t worn it often, it felt more like a novelty item. She had obviously been intent on finding it because he didn’t even know he had brought it to college.

He dresses slowly, dreading the sympathetic eyes that waited for him. It’s not like he didn’t appreciate his friend’s concern, on the contrary, he thought it was really sweet. It’s just, he didn’t need to be reminded of just what a fool he made of himself.

When he does emerge, Xiao is smiling brightly but the concern is pouring through her eyes and body language. Kidoh just raises to his feet, an almost smile upon his face. He must look like a kicked puppy because they’re looking at him as if he is one.

“Hey, “Xiao manages.

“Hey,” Hoseok manages before her arms wrap around him.

He never knew his friends were such big huggers.

“It sucks,” his voice is muffled.

“I know, I know,” she murmurs.

It’s dramatic, he knows but it’s comforting.

-

Hyunwoo is half way to the café when he realizes he doesn’t have his phone on him. Not that it has any power anyway. He knows that Minhyuk will be late but if Hyunwoo spent another minute on his bed, he wasn’t going leave it till the next morning.

The walk to café is about fifteen minutes but Hyunwoo stretches it out to almost half an hour. The evening chill is refreshing, so he doesn’t mind taking his time. Spring is beautiful Seoul, all types of flowers spreading their wings in their youth. It makes it easy for Hyunwoo to get distracted, his eyes wandering with random petal swaying in the evening breeze. It’s easy, it’s simple and it’s calming; a basic description of Son Hyunwoo.

He must have made an error in judgement because Minhyuk is already seated when he arrives at the café. The blonde must feel so proud of himself.

“You’re late,” Minhyuk says almost instantly.

Hyunwoo expected it.

“When do you ever get say that?” Hyunwoo replies.

“I know, I am never gonna forget this,” Minhyuk jokes but Hyunwoo knows he means it.

Minhyuk’s hazelnut latte arrives and Hyunwoo orders an Americano, earning a look of disgust from Minhyuk.

“I don’t know how you drink something so bitter?” He comments, as he usual does.

Winstons was one of Hyunwoo’s favourite finds. Tucked between a ramen shop and a small internet café, the café was opened twenty four hours. Now that he thinks about, he and Minhyuk have only come here when they’re pulling an all nighter and neither of them is interested in organising food.  One could always argue that they could just order but Winstons had a vibe and they enjoyed their late night visits. They had keen on exploring when they first started college.

Along with the Americano, Hyunwoo orders a chicken and avocado tremazini . Minhyuk opts for a pancake and chocolate mousse. They don’t discuss anything in particular and they especially don’t discuss the spin the bottle incidents. Yet, Hyunwoo wants to. He wants Minhyuk to mention Hoseok, just so he knows it wasn’t just a dream.

Minhyuk watches him warily, ”Something on your mind Woo?”

“Just hungry,” Hyunwoo lies.

More like someone. More like Shin Hoseok.

It doesn’t take long to devour his food, Hyunwoo’s stomach gratefully welcoming the nutrients. His eyes roam nowhere in particular and about half of him is paying attention to Minhyuk. The other half is randomly keeping an eye out for blue hair.- which he knows is as foolish as it gets .

Minhyuk can tell he’s elsewhere but keeps it to himself. Hyunwoo’s never been one to give into Minhyuk’s pestering, so he won’t bother.

Despite Hyunwoo’s protest, Minhyuk insists they watch the new conjuring.

“You scare easily. Why would you want to watch this?” Hyunwoo already knows the answer but he’ll ask anyway,

“So I can stay at your place instead heading back to my weird roommate,” he replies

Hyunwoo thought so.

Hyunwoo proposed the idea of them becoming roommates but Minhyuk seemed reluctant for some reason. He never shared the reason with Hyunwoo and he too soon forgot about it.

It's roughly quarter past four when they leave the quaint café. Minhyuk gathers his jacket and bag while Hyunwoo takes the lead.  There’s a few people outside the café but the Ramen place seems to be busy. Hyunwoo inhales the crisp air as he waits for Minhyuk. Feeling his blonde friend’s presence behind, they head back to his apartment. It's short distance till they reach the corner and a confused Minhyuk finds himself bumping into Hyunwoo’s back. It only takes Minhyuk a second to figure out why.

All he needs to see is that blue hair.

Hyunwoo doesn’t believe it at first because what are the chances. The blunette is currently standing under the glow of a streetlamp, a stream of smoke rising from his parted lips. He’s flanked by a pretty girl with long wavy hair and a tall male in all black. Hyunwoo feels a rush of memories pertaining to his earlier self-menstruations flooding his mind. The streets are busy but that hair and Hyunwoo just seems to be on lookout for the other all the time. He inhales before he proceeds and Minhyuk walks by his side. He hadn’t intended on engaging the other but he watches intently as Hoseok drops the cigarette bud to the tar and steps on it. If he turns now-

And he does.

Hyunwoo looks directly in the now dark orbs. He prefers it over the blue contacts. Guilt is heavy on his chest, he wasn’t proud of using thoughts of Hoseok to jerk off. He knew he did the other a disservice because Hoseok was so much more than just that.  There’s a moment of stillness as he peers into Hoseok’s dark silky pools. Hyunwoo can feel the rawness, the malleability but it doesn’t last long. It’s almost as if the silvery liquid solidifies into an iron cage. It’s cold and hard, denying Hyunwoo access to the treasure inside. It's brief but Hoseok looks almost hostile and Hyunwoo can’t imagine why.

They’re nearing the trio and Hyunwoo wants to ask what’s wrong but it’s clear that he is unwelcomed. So he doesn’t, he just maintains eye contact with Hoseok’s icy glare but he feels more. The other is looking at him as if he’s disappointed or offended or both with a bit of sadness.

Did he do something wrong?

Did he say something wrong?

Hyunwoo knows he is known for his lack of expression but he wishes Hoseok can see the bewilderment in his eyes. The stare down is intervened by the tall male intercepting their path. He just blankly looks Hyunwoo before he turns his back.

The rest of the walk is silent. Hyunwoo feels his shoulder becoming tenser, his chest tightening. He tries to recall the morning memories of Hoseok’s tongue on his skin but the memory has been tainted. He just wants to know why? Maybe if he knew, he would correct it but he doesn’t. So what is he to do with this?

Minhyuk could feel it, the hostility in the air, and the way Hoseok gestures towards Hyunwoo. He feels offended though, he feels the burn of anger and urge to walk over there and confront them.

How dare he acts like that when he was busy being a complete whore just this morning?

Instead he maintains his calm because the air is heavy and he doesn’t want to bring Hyunwoo down further. So he shuts his mouth and continues to feigned ignorance. He knows Hyunwoo is man of few words and honestly he doesn’t want him to feel ashamed of this. This being rejection. He was aware of his friend’s feelings but only last night had it dawned on him just how deep those feelings ran.  Minhyuk can’t say he expected anything else from the blunette. He just screamed trouble and Minhyuk didn’t like it one bit because deep down he knew; nothing good could have come from this and true to his words, nothing did.

-

He could feel the concern gazes of his friends. Kidoh offers him a second cigarette and Hoseok accepts it without thinking. He had been trying to quit but the occasion called for it. The thing that annoyed the most is the lack of acknowledgment. It’s as if Hyunwoo was feigning ignorance in an attempt to make Hoseok feel less of a fool than he was. Like he was doing him a favour by bypassing it. Like acting like it never happened would make dealing with the rejection easier. The truth was it hurt more than anything, like not only was Hoseok not worthy of his affection but not worthy of even his words. How wrong had he been about the other.

 How dare he smiles so care free at him?

With those cute bunny teeth.

Damn that cute bunny smile.

“Hoseok?” Kidoh prods.

“You okay?” Xiao asks.

“He’s not that cute,” Hoseok puffs as the tension in face releases.

Xiao laughs, “Not really hey, you can do better,”

“Don’t look too smart either. All brawn and no brains,” Kidoh comments.

Hoseok laughs as he agree but that statement doesn’t settle well with him but who was he to defend Hyunwoo. Not like he knew him.

-

Wooden floors, white walls and big window, Minhyuk always thought it was straight out of a drama. More like the rich people kind and not the broke student kind.

Hyunwoo trudges to bedroom in silence but Minhyuk doesn’t mind. He practically lives here. Tossing his bag aside, he heads to the kitchen. Sifting through the cupboard, he finds a snickers bar, some marshmallows and dried fruits. Thankfully Minhyuk had brought an array of junk food with him. Hyunwoo may not like his coffee with sugar but sweets and chocolates held no issue for him.  Readying the popcorn, he grabs two plastic bowls and fills them with a mix of smarties, Astros and M&M.  Minhyuk takes his sweet tooth very seriously.

When Hyunwoo returns to the lounge in a sleeping shorts and a white vest, Minhyuk is already on the wicker sofas with popcorn, junk and the playstation controller. Minhyuk offers him a wide grin. For only a moment Hyunwoo forgets everything concerning Hoseok, it just feels like a normal night of chilling with his best friend. It’s short lived because the wound makes its presence known and Hyunwoo reaches for his chest, he doesn’t understand why it offends him so much. Why does he feel so low? Pushing the thoughts aside, he takes his place next to the blonde. He loads the movie and Hyunwoo shifts till he’s comfortable.

Maybe because somewhere inside despite believing he had no chance, there had been a voice whispering hope into his ears.

The movie is the second edition and Hyunwoo faintly remembers the first one. Something about a haunted house but then again, wasn’t that the case of every scary movie. Either way Minhyuk loved being scared shitless, even it meant not being able to go to the bathroom alone for the next three nights. Hyunwoo didn’t care for cheap scares and even less now considering his run in with Hoseok. He honestly didn’t know what to make out of his crush’s icy demeanor. His crush? How he had grown used to such a term, he would never know. He felt as if he was out of the loop and that meant he could have been in the wrong without knowing.

That worried him the most.

That and,

Does Hoseok hate him?

Did he just get rejected?

He hadn’t confessed so but then.

Why?

Too many unknowns. He never intended on really approaching the blunette but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to something to happen between them. Underneath his denial, insecurities and whatever lies he told himself, Hyunwoo wanted to speak to Hoseok. He wanted to get know him, learn about him. Sometimes Hyunwoo just wants his company. He wants the pleasure of making him smile or being the person that Hoseok talks to animatedly and Hyunwoo would offer him his undivided attention.

Minhyuk elbows jabs into his ribs, and Hyunwoo grunts.

“Did you see that Woo? Did you? I knew something creepy was in that tent. I knew,” Minhyuk rambles as he exchange glances between Hyunwoo and the television.

Hyunwoo just nods and Minhyuk knows he’s miles away.

“I don’t why,” Hyunwoo isn’t sure why he said that but it did.

 Whether it was for himself or Minhyuk, he didn’t know.

The blonde is taken aback but doesn’t let it show. He hadn’t expected his friend to crumble that easily. Hyunwoo had always taken his sweet time to process things pertaining to feelings but Hoseok had sliced right through that. He didn’t like how this unknown person who knew nothing about his friend had this power. It frustrated Minhyuk but he held his tongue.

“I don’t know either Woo but,” Minhyuk wracked his brain, how does he explain this Hyunwoo, ”It's not because of you. He doesn’t even know you. So don’t take offense. He’s just being faulty.”

Probably the most painful thing about his friend’s words was the truth in it.

Hoseok doesn’t even know him.

But then why.

“Maybe you’re just not his type,” Minhyuk offers when the silence lingers.

He never had a chance to begin with.

“Probably,” it’s the best reply Hyunwoo could come up with.

He shifts his focus back to the screen, intent on ignoring the drop in his stomach. It almost feels sick and Hyunwoo wondered if rejection got better with experience. If it did, he wished he had experienced more of it before it came to Hoseok because fuck, the pain was almost unbearable. How did people cope with this? How did Minhyuk cope with this and still continue? What threw Hyunwoo off was just how physical the hurt was. Maybe if it was feelings and thought, he could have dealt better but it wasn’t. It was evident physical clenching in his chest, his mind foggy with tension and the worst being the uncomfortable tug in his abdomen. He felt hollow and all the darkness hidden in the cracks of his mind came out to fill him up. All his insecurities snickering because they had warned him and he hadn’t listened and continued falling for Hoseok. He blamed himself for allowing himself to come to this but he knew falling for the blunette was not out of choice. Even if Hyunwoo knew he would hurt ten times more than this, he knew very well that he wouldn’t have been able to hold himself back from falling for Hoseok.

It was instinctual.

-

“You’re awake,” Himchan states.

Yongguk just grunts as he leans against the door frame. He had an eventful night and even more so early morning. That being said, after returning, Yongguk had knocked out. Waking only a few minutes ago, he wasn’t the least bit surprised that it was dark outside. Quite honestly he had expect Himchan to be beside but instead the other was in their small lounge.

“What are you watching?” Yongguk questions.

“Oh, izombie,” Himchan replies as he picks up the blanket to allow Yongguk to enter.

Instead Yongguk waves his hand and heads to the bathroom. His bladder is at it’s limits and he needs to brush his teeth. A part of him is relieved that Himchan doesn’t seem upset. He wouldn’t show it though. He’s never eager to succumb to Himchan’s sulking but he knew coming back late and sleeping the entirety of the day was pushing it. Scrubbing his mouth vigorously, he rinses and heads back to the lounge. The taste of alcohol is faint on his tongue but there’s not much he can do about it.

Himchan immediately curls into his side and Yongguk takes the opportunity play with his boyfriend’s soft auburn strands. Himchan took the utmost care when it came to his grooming and it showed. The scent of strawberries fills Yongguk’s nostril and he smiles. The same shampoo as always. Yongguk wonders why he expected anything else. Maybe because his looking for an alteration in the scene but he can’t say his disappointed when he comes up with nothing. Tonight is almost a mirror image of most nights and it comforts him.

“What do you think brains taste like?” Himchan asks, his eyes glued to the screen.

Yongguk just shrugs as he watches Himchan, his hands slipping through his tresses.

“Like it looks tasty. Kinda makes me hungry,”

“Then why don’t we try?” Yongguk inquires in a completely serious tone.

Hicmchan immediately smiles, his eyes flicker past Yongguk before it returns to the screen.

“Are you offering to kill for me Bang Yongguk?” Himchan asks as he smiles.

“What if I am?” Yongguk teases as he tugs lightly at his boyfriend’s hair.

“I’d say killing for me is the least you could do for ditching me the whole Saturday,” He tries to joke but Yongguk sees through it.

He knew the other was too calm about it. A knowing smile graces Yongguk lips as he thinks that he knows his boyfriend all too well.

“Don’t smile like that. It’s creepy,” Himchan curtly comments.

Yongguk laughs as he readjusts himself and Himchan gratefully accommodates him. The blanket is tossed aside in favour of cuddling. Scooting into the corner of the sofa, Yongguk’s one leg is wedged behind Himchan. Automatically Himchan’s head is laid upon his chest and Yongguk raises his other leg to rest on the edge of the sofa. It’s too normal, Himchan laying on their couch, between his legs with his head on Yongguk’s chest. He can smell the strawberries.

“I love how you hair smells,” he blurts out.

Himchan chuckles, “I know you told me that the morning after I pitched up at you dorm drunk and passed out. Wasn’t it like first year?”

They had a rocky start but looking back, Yongguk was glad Himchan persisted.

“Is that why you haven’t changed your shampoo, because I liked it?” Yongguk asks.

“Of course,”

Yongguk thought this was as good as it got it. Wrapped up in the heat of Himchan’s, his words poured freely and his boyfriend accepted it willingly. Not only that but Himchan accepted everything about him with such frankness, as if Yongguk’s mood swings and silent periods were nothing to fuss over. He had always thought it was. Someone as low as Yongguk to build an actual prosperous relation seemed unlikely, almost impossible. He had too many demons lingering on his shoulders.

Yet, Himchan treated it like child’s play.

He was grateful and they had never spoken about it but Yongguk really did whatever he could to ensure Himchan felt loved because Yongguk did love him.

So much so, it scared him.

“I can hear your heart,” Himchan murmurs against Yongguk’s chest.

“You know it only beats for you,” Yongguk speaks into Himchan’s tresses.

Himchan snorts, “So cringy,”

“You love it,”

“Only because I love you,”

To think he was going to pass up the opportunity of something as beautiful as Himchan. Sighing contentedly, he indeed was a lucky man. He wonders which of the fools between Hoseok and Hyunwoo would be the one to put in the work. If Yongguk had to pick, he would go with Hoseok. Hyunwoo seemed like a good guy but a little on the dense side. I mean he has to be if hasn’t noticed Hoseok’s pining for him. Then again, maybe his judgement was hindered with all those star in his eyes when Hoseok was around. It’s cute. It reminds Yongguk of his early days with Himchan, the way they skirted around each. If that was the case, it definitely is Hoseok who would take the initiative.

“Why are smiling like that? Who you thinking about?” Himchan asks, his chin digging into Yongguk’s chest.

“You, of course,”

“Better be me. Otherwise your brains will be the first to grace my palette,” Himchan warns.

It’s adorable, fluffy Himchan with his hair in his eyes and that pout, trying to be threatening.

“I love you Chanie,” it’s random and by the look of confusion on Himchan’s face, he must think so too.

“Only can be you,” Yongguk whispers against Himchan’s lips, his neck strained.

He lightly presses his lips against his boyfriend’s, ever so lightly, just a taste. Himchan wiggles as he stretches his neck. Their faces are less than an inch a part.

“Kiss me,” Himchan mumbles.

Yongguk obeys and kisses him and kisses him again and again till Himchan is out of breath and his eyes are drooping from the comfort of Yongguk’s warmth.

All that drama was worth it.

-

Sunday mornings are the best or at least they are when you’re not suffering from heartache. Hoseok can only distract himself for so long till his mind returns to Hyunwoo. The way the taller looked so unaffected pisses him off. It shouldn’t though because it’s not Hyunwoo’s fault that he has no interest in Hoseok. It’s no one’s fault really but Hoseok wonders if he was better off in limbo.

He feels his phone vibrate and searches for it. Finally locating it in the groove of the sofa, he promptly unlocks it. It’s a message from Yongguk, he’s canceling today’s appointment. Hoseok expected so, he can’t imagine Himchan being okay with Yongguk coming back so late. It worked out better for him as well, his mind-set is far too scattered. He doubted he would have been productive. Absent mindedly his fingers scroll over to his gallery. He knows what he’s doing and knows he should stop but he just can’t.

Bunny teeth,

Eye smiles,

Those plump lips.

The most conscience decision he makes is one where he tosses the phone aside and buries his face into the cushion. He’s getting way too comfortable on Kidoh’s sofa.

-

He didn’t sleep well or he didn’t sleep enough. It was annoying. Hyunwoo kept thinking he somehow messed up but what if it wasn’t anything like that. What if Hoseok didn’t even remember him but that look in his eyes. Hyunwoo can’t pinpoint it. Somewhere amongst all the chaos in his head, Hyunwoo had drifted off to sleep. Only to waken to a Minhyuk’s limbs thrown haphazardly of his body. Nothing new but Hyunwoo wasn’t his usual self and he felt freakishly annoyed by his blonde friend. Inhaling and exhaling, Hyunwoo shoves his friend to the other side of the bed and heads to the bathroom. 

When he returns, Minhyuk is missing and Hyunwoo flops back into the bed. He just didn’t feel ready for the day but he wasn’t too thrilled about being stationary. It made it too easy for his mind to wonder and Hyunwoo was tired of thinking.

_Ring ring_

Minhyuk lets a laugh slip. Hyunwoo still hadn’t changed the Christmas ringtone. Figures, he always had an issue with technology. It's 2017 and Minhyuk still can’t trust him to take a proper selfie.

Returning the carton of milk to the fridge, Minhyuk reaches for the receiver,” Helloo, Son residence.”

“You married my brother now, Minhyuk?” a familiar voice answers.

“Haha funny,” Minhyuk says but it isn’t, not in the least bit.

“But you’re basically his wife. You answer his phone more than he does,” she teases and Minhyuk grimaces.

Perfect way to ruin his morning.

“So you want to speak to Hyunwoo?” he asks

He’s not really annoyed. He himself is pretty close Sunwa and the rest of Hyunwoo’s family.

“I’m teasing Hyukkie. Nah, just tell that brother of mine he needs to phone home and please put his phone on,” she says and hang ups.

Minhyuk knows very well that she was joking.

“My sister?” Hyunwoo inquires as he drags his feet down the stairs.

Minhyuk offers his brightest smile, “Yeah, she said to phone your friends and switch your phone on.”

“Aww, I see. Where is my phone?” He mumbles as he sifts through the cushions on his sofa.

“I put it to charge. Couldn’t find your charger, as usual, so I used the playstation controller charger,” Minhyuk explains as he heads upstairs.

Hyunwoo hasn’t found his charger since he moved here, hence he bought an usb cable for his laptop.

Grabbing his phone, he sinks into the bean bag. The only comfortable seating in the apartment. The light flickers and the ‘sony’ sign appears. Soon he’s met with a long list of missed calls, mostly from his mother and three text messages from an unknown number. He opens the messages first, his a bit curious. It’s not like his given any-

The thoughts dry up as his mouth does.

Oh it feels so foreign. The soothing sensation increasing as his eyes pass over each word. His cheeks strain from smiling too wide and he can hear Minhyuk’s voice but it’s just background noise. Another kind of warmth spreads through his body and he feels his senses heightened. There’s this pleasant buzz and he feels dizzy or is it giddy. He doesn’t know but he keeps reading the messages, over and over again. The tension in his chest decreasing with each passing second. It’s not too long Hyunwoo feels all the pressure in his body release and he can finally breathe peacefully again. The burden suddenly lifted from his shoulders. The doubts of last night’s encounter almost vanish but that reminds him.

The messages were sent

Yesterday, 6:13

Hoseok must have stayed up mulling over this.

“Oi, Woo, don’t ignore me,” Minhyuk’s voice finally reaches him.

Clutching the phone like it his life support, Hyunwoo’s eyes are basically sealed as he smiles at his blonde friend.

Minhyuk lifts up his eyebrow in question but Hyunwoo just continues to smile, the apples of his cheeks shining as they swell. It’s not uncommon for Hyunwoo to smile but not like this. It makes Minhyuk uncomfortable.

The truth is that Hyunwoo doesn’t know what to say. What if this just a cruel joke or maybe Hoseok was drunk and didn’t mean it. The blunette didn’t seem happy to see him yesterday but the again.

It all made sense, each piece slotting together like a jigsaw. Yeah, Hyunwoo seemed to miss social cues but he wasn’t nearly as dense as some would like to think he is. He very much understands the situation.

Hoseok must have thought I deliberately ignored his messages.

It makes sense as to why he had looked at Hyunwoo in that way, why he shielded himself.

Hyunwoo can’t accept that.

Returning his attention back to his phone, he tries to call the number but to no avail. Each time the dialing tone is cut off after a maximum of two rings. Hoseok isn’t even trying to be subtle.

All the while Minhyuk is gawking at him,”You’re really going to ignore when I’m right in front of you.”

Sighing I frustration, he gets up and stands awkwardly when he realizes Minhyuk is glaring at him.

What does he say?

He hadn’t meant to be sassy but his words imply otherwise, “Apparently I’m exactly his type.”

Minhyuk barely has time to processes the words as Hyunwoo dashes past him, almost losing his footing on the wooden stairs.

“Don’t fall,” Minhyuk warns instinctively but it falls on deaf ears because Hyunwoo has disappeared into the bedroom, leaving him to decipher the cryptic statement

‘Apparently I’m exactly his type,’

He must have meant Hoseok. Minhyuk felt his stomach drop but the smile continued to stay plastered on his face.

-

It’s too early and too hot but of course Youngjae doesn’t feel that way because his body is plastered upon Daehyun’s. The redhead’s face is tucked underneath Daehyun’s chin and there’s a damp patch on his vest from Youngjae’s drool. It’s yucky but he looks so peaceful, Daehyun can’t muster the strength to care. Although he really thinks he should. The two of them were getting way to comfortable with this set-up, getting way too comfortable with Youngjae. Daehyun was avoiding it because he was scared; scared of the reality of their arrangement.

There’s a buzzing sensation protruding through the fluffy pillows. He knows instinctively that it’s Youngjae’s phone and the realization makes him want facepalm himself.

Way too comfortable.

The vibration goes unnoticeable by the sleeping figure. Daehyun knows there’s limits to their arrangements, limits they haven’t spoken about but they very well know it. He was very well surpassing those limits this morning but he needed to know.

Who would be phoning the other at nine in the morning?

His logic told him that it wasn’t such a rare time, it could be a variety of people; Youngjae’s mom or Youngjae’s friend. Daehyun knew most of redhead’s friends and he was sure if it was his mother, the caller id would say so. Despite all of this, it continues and Daehyun digs it out.

Upon the screen in white letters is the name ‘Hyunwoo’.

A name Daehyun didn’t know. A name Youngjae had never mentioned.

Daehyun wasn’t upset but he was annoyed. Annoyed more at himself than anything else. He had no right poking freely into Youngjae’s personal life. Their relationship was one of unquestionable comfort and freedom of space. Youngjae came when he wanted and offered himself when Daehyun asked. Simplicity of equivalent exchange. They barely knew each other more than a month and yet Daehyun had no issues with the overbearing tendencies of the red head. He felt he should have but when he woke to Youngjae in his bed, just a week after becoming roommates, he didn’t question it. Just like how he doesn’t question how he wakes with the redhead, even though he went to bed alone.

The call is canceled and Daehyun ponders if he should return the phone to it’s original place but the screen lights up again.

The same person, ’Hyunwoo’.

This time the red head stirs and Daehyun slightly panics.

He feels like a kid that just stole a cookie out of the treat jar.

Youngjae wakes up to Daehyun’s hand running through his hair and a blinding light in his eyes. He squints as he tries to look up at Daehyun.

“Phone call,” Daehyun voice cracks and Youngjae realizes that blinding light is his phone. He reaches for but finds himself falling to the bed as Daehyun roughly slips out from under him. The phone is tossed on the bed and Youngjae groggily watches as Daehyun step out the room. The redhead can only imagine he needs to take a piss real bad.

The vibration stops as Youngjae reaches for the phone. He opens the miss call tab and is little bit surprised to see Hyunwoo’s number appearing twice. He should phone back but before he does, a call comes through and Youngjae smiles.

Must be urgent.

“Hyunwoah,-“

“I need to see Hoseok,” Hyunwoo sounds out of breath and if Youngjae wasn’t so baffled, he would have called him out for being rude.

“Why?” Youngjae asks, his lips splitting into a grin.

“… There was a misunderstanding. I need to clarify things,”

“Okay,” it was good enough for Youngjae and plus he doesn’t want to deter him,” I’ll message you his number.”

“No- I mean I need to see him. Like do you know where he stays?”

Huh. Now Youngjae’s mind is fully awake.

“Uhm no but he I know he lives in a dorm. Yongguk will know,”

“Can you ask him?” Hyunwoo sounds hesitant but Youngjae is impressed he’s come this far.

“…sure,” he’s not quite sure how else to answer.

The call is cut almost instantly and Youngjae is left wide eyed and completely lost.

This should be interesting.

-

Yongguk couldn’t move a muscle, with great difficulty he managed to message Hoseok but the phone had slipped and landed on the carpeted floor, just beyond his reach. Thanks to sleeping all day, Yongguk found it difficult to get any sleep at night and Himchan was determined to stay up with him. Which had ultimately resulted in the current position of Himchan’s body draped carelessly upon Yongguk.

But Yongguk would rather die than disturb his sleeping beauty.

Anyone coming in the way of Himchan’s sleep could die.

Which is why Yongguk goes into overdrive when the discarded cell phone starts ringing.

Oh dear God.

One arm wraps around Himchan’s frame as the reaches for the cell phone. It’s too far. Yongguk knows his time is limited, there’s only another five or six seconds till his ringtone breaks into some edm. Shifting himself and Himchan ever so gently towards the edge of the sofa, his outstretched arms strains as his fingers desperately claw at the object. He’s almost there. With a last minute attempt, he stretches his arm further, to the point where he feels a sharp pain near his elbow. He endures and his hand successfully returns with the phone. There’s no time to rub his sore muscles.

Youngjae is displayed on the screen and Yongguk doesn’t think twice before he cancels the call. His attention returning to his injured arm, careful not make any sound.

The phone lights and once again it is Youngjae.

And once again Yongguk cancels it.

Seconds later, there’s a greenflash and Yongguk knows it has to be Youngjae.

 

Youngjae

Hey I need Hoseok’s address

_Sent [9:45]_

 

Yongguk hadn’t expected that but then again he has never been able to read Youngjae clearly. It piques his interest.

 

Yongguk

Y?

_Sent [9:49]_

 

Youngjae

Because Hyunwoo needs to see him (winking face)

_Sent [9:50]_

 

His eye brows raises as his eyes widens in surprise. Now Yongguk wishes he picked up that call.

 

Yongguk

Really

 _Sent [9:52_ ]

 

Youngjae

OMG u take 4ever 2reply

Yes really!!!! Come on, I don’t want Hyunwoo 2lose his nerve.

 _Sent [9:53_ ]

 

Yongguk

East court, room 113

_Sent [9:58]_

Third floor

_Sent [9:59]_

 

Youngjae

Thanku [lipstick print emoji]

_Sent [10:00]_

 

Well that was an interesting start to the day.

 Yongguk pouts his lips as he thinks, ‘Guess I was wrong.”

Looks like Hyunwoo is the one taking initiative. Maybe he deserves more credit. There’s a silly smile on his lips as he imagines how shell-shocked Hoseok is gonna be when he sees Hyunwoo in his doorway.

“That smile again,” Himchan rough morning voice mumbles.

“Did I wake you?” Yongguk asks in concern.

“Yeah, someone came in my dreams and was like beware, your man is smiling like a fool when his texting other people,” there’s no bite in it.

Instead of explaining himself, Yongguk offers Himchan his cell phone. His boyfriends rubs his eyes sleepily and Yongguk smiles at the cuteness.

“So cute my baby Chanie,” Yongguk teases

“I’m not cute, I’m handsome or sexy-“ Himchan’s puffs but it makes him even more cute.

“My adorable Chanie,” his boyfriends persists.

“I will revoke yours right and you no longer will be able to call me Chanie. I’m warning you Bbang,” Himchan lays down his rules.

“But Chanie,” Yongguk whines.

“No buts, it’s either sexy Chanie or handsome Chanie or no Chanie at all. Who’s Hyunwoo?” Himchan asks as he gestures at the phone in his hand.

“This guy that Hoseok likes,” Yongguk replies as he adjusts Himchan as to allow his boyfriend’s chin to rest on his chest.

“And he wants Hoseok’s address. Ooh la la. Hoseok gonna get some,”

“I doubt it. He’s such a mess, it will be a miracle if he even says anything more than hello,” Yongguk comments.

“Really, Hoseok? I don’t believe that,”

“Well, believe it. He starts thinking weird things. Things a lot similar to what I thought when I met you,” Yongguk thinks out loud.

“Oh really, like?” Himchan pokes.

“Like I’m such a mess. Who would be able to put up with this, yet alone love it?” Yongguk admits as he looks up to the ceiling.

“I guess you found your answer,” Himchan says as he clambers up Yongguk’s frame.

His body wriggly as he works his way up till his arms can comfortably wrap around Yongguk’s neck and he can smile against his boyfriend’s lip.

“Yes, in you,” he whispers and Himchan breaks out into the most the blinding smile.

It’s all the invitation Yongguk needs. His dry lips part as is teeth tug at Himchan’s lower lip, sucking on it as Himchan inhales deeply. The morning breath is less than ideal but neither of them could care. Moments later Yongguk is delving into Himchan’s warm caverns. It’s like a lost paradise and Yongguk searches for new treasure, new ways to feel that sinful moan vibrate throughout Himchan’s mouth, new ways to make his lover claw at his neck.

He almost always succeeds.

-

Hyunwoo’s fingers nervously clutch onto his phone. The logical part of him is telling him not to be a fool but instead get ready. The other part is far too distracted by the situation.

He stands stationary in his bathroom. Eyes focused on the object in his hand. He doesn’t know how much time as past but he expected it to be a lot later when looked at the clock. Deciding to side with sanity. Hyunwoo tosses the phone on the phone, returns to the bathroom and strips. The steady stream of warm water soothes the nerves but also serves as a reminder that this couldn’t be anything other than reality because it didn’t feel like the usual him. It feels beyond him, something that wouldn’t even occur to him. He could always approach Hoseok at college but he never saw the other a part from Fridays and Hyunwoo doesn’t think he can make it till them. That’s the amazing part because Hyunwoo prides himself on being controlled but the truth is; most things just don’t get to him like it would to others. Sometimes he wants to feel it, the urgency, the panic.

His fingers draw circles in the steamed glass, his mind wandering back to Saturday morning. It’s mind-blowing, so much so that Hyunwoo clenches his eyes in disbelief. The whole concept of there being a chance of anything at all between the two of them. The visualization of his fantasies being more than his imagination.

Hyunwoo hadn’t given an official term to what he felt for Hoseok. Most of the time he just thought it was interest. Minhyuk had said it was infatuation. Whatever it was it made his heart race by merely thinking about any interaction with the other but of course what he was doing today wasn’t just any interaction. This time, his heart felt like it was a tightly wound yarn. Soft to the touch but so tightly wounded that the fibers were peeling, leaving a taunt smooth surface in its place. Each time Hyunwoo let himself drown in his feelings, he would feel a strand come loose and fall to the ground. Every time he searched, he could never find the beginning or the end of the now frayed thread.

When returns with his hair wet and a towel wrapped around his waist, he goes straight for his phone. There’s one message and the thumping in his chest ceases. His thumb makes quick work and Youngjae’s tab pops up

 

Youngjae

East court,  room 113 3rd floor

U owe me. I want to hear all about it.

_Sent [10:05]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again apologises for errors. i am horrible when it comes to reading my own work. i just completely miss out words and somehow it still makes sense to me.


	4. IV - What I Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically everybody confronts their feelings.   
> There's a lot of feelings

10:06

 

10:13

 

10:15

 

10:19

 

10:22

 

10:27

 

Every time Hyunwoo looks at his phone, he expects a significant amount of time to have passed but that's not the case. The minutes seem to be dragging by, which is only excelled by his rushed movements.

 

He opts for a pair of black jeans, black long sleeve shirt  worn under a chequered shirt . He barely gives his outfit a second thought, he's too focused on figuring out if he should go over to Hoseok's dorm now or later. Is it too early, too desperate or just too weird? Hoseok doesn't really know him. Maybe pitching up at his door is a bit too personal but then again, it's not like he's answering his phone. His choices are simple; go to his dorm or let the misunderstand float around until he sees the other again. He could wait or try phoning again tomorrow but Hyunwoo is suddenly reminded of the way Hoseok looked at him and he knows; he can't let the issue rest.

 

He throws on a pair of converse, a snap back and descends the stairs. Halting halfway when Minhyuk looks up at him. The air still and Minhyuk looks different but Hyunwoo doesn't know why.

 

"Going somewhere?" he asks.

 

"Yeah," Hyunwoo avoids eye contact for reasons unknown.

He does feel comfortable sharing information about his sudden realisation. It’s not like Minhyuk wouldn’t understand and It’s not like Hyunwoo wouldn’t like some insight on the matter but he feels he need to deal with it by himself; the matter of Hoseok being exclusive.

 

Minhyuk doesn't press the matter and Hyunwoo shuffles awkwardly out of the apartment. Glancing back at the closed door, he knows something was amiss. Minhyuk wasn't his usual self and Hyunwoo feels self-conscience about it. He had expected a barrage of instigations but nothing of the sort materialised. Not like he was disappointed, it just didn't feel right. Either way, Hyunwoo could only handle so much at one go and right now Hoseok is priority.

 

The sun looks like a dip in the sky. Like you could dive into it and enter another realm. The brightness creating a void in the sea of blue but it’s misleading. With every step, deliberate or not, Hyunwoo finds beads of sweat forming underneath strap of his cap. The symbals in his throat clashing whenever he thinks he should think this through. A few clichés fly around; maybe he should buy him  flowers or write him a letter but would those techniques work even though he's a guy. Hyunwoo doesn't know. Fair enough, Hoseok has feminine features and he wears a lot of make-up but to what extent does his feminine taste reach. For all Hyunwoo knows, Hoseok could probably think that wearing make-up isn't feminine at all. Maybe it isn't femininity, why does Hyunwoo have to attribute his beauty to a gender? If that was the case, wouldn't Hyunwoo just be attracted to a female. He wasn't though, instead he couldn't explain his attraction for other in any simple terms. Hoseok's qualities were purely his and awarded to no one else, in such a way that Hyunwoo couldn't clearly label them. No title served as justification; not feminine, not gay.

 

Hyunwoo was drawn to him. Fascinated, enticed, all of the above. Even though he was trying hard to fight back the urges, to convince himself that he was going to see Hoseok just to clear up the misunderstanding, he knew he was lying to himself.

 

He knew.

 

He knew exactly what Hoseok was describing in his text. This was more than like or maybe he thought so because he had never experienced it before. Things had changed and Hyunwoo had nowhere to run and hide.

 

Now that he had a taste, he wanted it all.

 

In the end, he decided against the flowers. There were going to be no frills, just him. Him in all his awkwardness in the plain of day.

 

and it's him that he hopes Hoseok will accept.

 

-

 

His bed is warm and his head is still fuzzy with sleep. Kidoh wants nothing more than to sink back into slumberland but there's this nagging feeling he can't shake off. His ear's perk up, the creak of toilet door disturbing the morning peace. Reluctantly he decides he should just give up and instinctively he reaches for a cig and lighter but it's not there.

 

Must be with Hoseok.

 

Dragging his feet into the lounge, his mildly surprised when finds Xiao sitting crossed legged on his sofa. Not only that but Hoseok was nowhere in sight. Amongst a pile of empty chocolate wrappers, Kidoh spots his lighter. Only then, when sifting through empty wrappers, does Xiao notice him. Her mouth open but no sound coming out.

 

"Hey," he offers.

 

She beckons him closer and whispers,"That dude phoned,"

 

Kidoh has no idea what she's talking about, "Huh."

 

She sighs loudly before leaning in again,"That guy from last night."

 

last night?

What happened last night?

They had gone out for ramen because that's the only thing a sad Hoseok eats and Hoseok was sad because of?

 

"Oh, really? what did he say?" Kidoh finally catches on.

 

"Nothing. Hoseok never answered. Thank God," Xiao sighs.

 

A little more up to speed now, Kidoh wonders," Where is Hoseok and when did you get here?"

 

"He phoned me around nine,"

 

"And you came over with a bag full of chocolates?" Kidoh asks as he points his lighter to the littered table.

 

"Chocolate helps, okay. He's in the bathroom. We were thinking about having a drink later," Xiao already looks ready in a pair of black ripped jeans, white cotton tank with lace detail and pair of white thick soled pumas.

 

He knows how the two of them are when they together.

 

"The dress code is black and white," She grins and comments.

 

He knew it. Learning from past experiences, he can almost simulate their lengthy discussion about what to wear, the make -up, the hair. Kidoh was just going to have to suck it up because he knew this was Hoseok way of getting his mind off that whole text fail.

 

"You told Jongup, right?" Kidoh asks after he lights his cigarette.

 

"Yep, he knows to be nice," Xiao beams, her hands pulling her wavy hair into an untidy bun, "You too, kidoh, be nice."

 

He just takes another pull and ignores her. Of course, he was going to be nice. He had been doing pretty decent so far. He thinks he handled yesterday's situation pretty well. Sure, the hug wasn't perfect but hey, it worked out or at least he thinks it did.

 

Halfway through the cigarette and Xiao disposing the empty wrappers, Hoseok emerges from the bathroom. His dual toned hair is slicked back away from his perfectly painted face. His eyes winged with kajol and enhanced with hues of black and plum eye shadow, under an expertly sculpted eyebrow. His cheeks are more rosy than usual and his lips is a little too pink. Kidoh thinks Hoseok may have over did it a bit but he's not about to say that out loud There may be a smile on his friend's face but the air is still thick with anxiety. All Kidoh can do is play along.

 

"Does it look bad? Xiao's makeup is a bit too bright for my skin colour or maybe I should say lack of skin colour," Hoseok jokes.

 

It's a trap, Kidoh won't fall for it," Nah it looks fine. Right Xiao?"

 

Xiao immediately perks up, her eyes scanning Hoseok from behind the counter. He's wearing his tightest pair of black jeans that has frayed cuts upon his upper left thigh and some around his knees. Jongup likes to call it the exhibitionist jeans. The upper part of him is covered by a black cotton crop top, the hem of the top just managing to cover his belly button when his arms are down.  There's a fair share of skin exposed between the space of his belly button and the waistband of his jeans setting dangerously low on his hip bones. The main attraction being the illustration of a tiger clawing up Hoseok's defined obliques and fairly visible pelvic muscle or in Hoseok's words; the fuck me lines. Yes, he was vain and insatiable when it came to his looks and body but he couldn't care less. Hoseok's thought of his body as art and he did everything to refine it, enhance it and preserve it. His skin, his hair, his body, his diet, his make-up, his clothes or even the colour of his nails, they all attributed to a single image. Like he was dressing for his role and everything had to slot in and fit perfectly. Even now, with his heart broken and his affection rejected, Hoseok didn't want to be anything other than his unapologetic self. He wanted to be the very thing he was scared he couldn't show Hyunwoo. The very thing he played down the past Friday nights because he was scared it would create distance between the two of them. This was all of him, skin, ink, face painted like a porcelain doll. He could seek comfort in this.

Hoseok know how to entice others, tempt them but that’s as far as he’s willing to go. It's the attention he loves to bathe in. How their eyes follow him in awe or disgust, it didn't matter because he loved it all. He wanted to be adored and if Hyunwoo couldn't adore him, then why would Hoseok want him. So he pushes to convince himself that everything was for the better. Pushes himself to believe that after a good night out, it will be okay. Hyunwoo wasn't his to have.

 

"I think you need to remove a little lipstick. That colour does nothing for you," Xiao finally comments, "but the outfit is on point. I took the crop top but I totally forgot your kimono jacket."

 

"We still got time, we can go pick it up," Kidoh suggests.

 

"Nah, it's fine. Kidoh, go bath," Hoseok commands.

 

"But it's so early. We only going out in the afternoon right?" Kidoh whined.

 

"It's almost eleven, you got one hour," Hoseok explains.

 

"How?" Kodoh asks exasperatedly.

 

"We said afternoon. Noon is twelve," Xiao explains.

 

"And exactly when that second-hand passes twelve, it will be the afternoon and we shall be drinking," Hoseok adds.

 

"And smoking," Xiao adds to the list.

 

"And getting high," Hoseok continues to contribute.

 

"And dancing," Xiao chirps.

 

"Most definitely dancing," Hoseok agrees with her.

 

All the while Kidoh just watches them in silence. Hoseok and Xiao look at him and it's clear that he's not paying attention to either of them.

 

"Go bath," they command in unison.

 

All Kidoh does is blink.

 

-

 

Hyunwoo's brain has halted it's thought process.  From the minute he stepped onto campus grounds, all he thinks about is locating Hoseok's dorm and nothing more. He finds the eastern court easily enough. A part of him wants to pause and take a breather but the other part of him doesn't want to allow himself that time to wrack his brains. Anyway, this was taking too long, the last thing he needed was Hoseok to marinate in these feelings and never allow Hyunwoo the chance to redeem himself. Then again Hoseok could have never had felt that way in the beginning but Hyunwoo wasn't going to take a chance. There was something so endearing about the text. As much Hyunwoo speculated it could have been a prank or a mistake, it surely hadn't felt like that. Hyunwoo found himself trusting it because above all, the texter had sounded confused and that was something Hyunwoo could identify with.

 

Climbing the stairs, his body seems to be on autopilot because his face to face with room 113 before he knows it.

 

He attempts to call Hoseok one last time but cuts the call the second he hears the voicemail prompt.

 

Looks like Hoseok is going to be difficult to the very end.

 

Oh'well. Shoving his phone back into his pocket, Hyunwoo brings the other hand to knock on the door. He only manages one before the door is swung open, revealing a lost Hyunwoo standing with his hand still in mid air.

 

Hyunwoo's mind had conjured up a variations of crazy scenarios. He initially had thought that Hoseok would slam the door in his face and if he did, Hyunwoo was prepared to wait around till Hoseok needed to leave the dorm. On the flipside, he also imagined Hoseok adopting a counter aggressive tactic and act as if the text message never existed. Then too, Hyunwoo was prepared to hold his ground.

 

of course expecting the unexpected with a straight face is one of his specialities.

 

"Hi, can I help you," asks the redhead male, his eyes heavy with eyeliners and tunnels in his ears.

Hyunwoo is taken aback. He did not factor in the room mate in any of his scenarios.

"I'm here to see Hoseok," it's a not a complete lie.

 

" Killu, who's that?" a highly feminine asks from in the dorm.

 

The male turns to answer, revealing a young women dressed in a pink and black Lolita styled dress.

 

"I'm here to see Hoseok," Hyunwoo repeats, even though it's clear that Hoseok isn't there.

 

"Oh, he's not here," she says apologetically as the male steps back in to the room and she takes his place.

He obviously wasn’t much of a talker.

"Did he know you were coming?" the male asks as he digs in a bag.

 

From his position in the doorway, Hyunwoo has a clear view of the dorm. There are multiple bags and he can only assume they’re planning on some kind of trip. Which is weird because tomorrow was Monday.

 

Son Hyunwoo was never one for frivolous games and many would say he is a man of virtue. He was brought up with a clear judgement and decisiveness to do good, no matter how small or big.

 

That doesn't mean he was a man above lying.

 

"Yeah I was supposed to come around later," lies, all of it, " but I figured since I was already on campus."

 

He stands there awkwardly, his eyes sweeping the ground.

 

"I see," the chick says thoughtfully, her finger to her lips.

 

"You might as well wait inside," the guy suggests, just like Hyunwoo hoped he would.

 

"Yeah come in," she grabs on to his wrist and drags him inside, " Hoseok hasn't been here for the past two nights."

 

Hyunwoo dumbly follows her into the small room. His eyes roaming the side he can only imagine belongs to Hoseok. The bedding is covered by monoprint geometrical shapes with large cushion depicting a roaring tiger with the word 'meow' on it's tongue.  Above the bed is a large ink wash portraying  a tattooed geisha. The aesthetics of it feels very much like Hoseok. Like his crush had taken pieces of himself and pinned it up as decor.

 

He hesitantly takes a seat on the free bed and small voice in his head is whispering; 'this is where he sleeps'.

 

But he apparently he hadn't for the past two nights. That worried Hyunwoo, for reasons he didn't care to search for.

 

"I'm gonna start packing the car," the guy says, more to himself than to anyone else.

 

Hyunwoo concludes that they're dating. He catches a glimpse of matching chunky rings upon their wedding finger but he doubts they're actually married.

 

"Sawako," the girl beams as she flounces on the bed, her pigtails bouncing with her.

 

"Huh,"

 

"My name is Sawako," she repeats.

 

"Oh," he thinks he may have blushed a bit, "I'm Hyunwoo, Son Hyunwoo."

 

"ah I see," she drags as she crosses her legs, revealing an amazingly high thin heel.

 

How women walk in those things truly bewildered him.

 

Time is running out. If Hoseok doesn't return before this couple leaves, Hyunwoo would have to station himself outside and that wasn't very ideal. He can't imagine a lone dude just wandering a hallway would go unnoticed. Worst case scenario, Hoseok sees him before Hyunwoo sees him and he evades. Which doesn't seem like such a stretch since he doesn't seem keen on sleeping in his own dorm.

 

If only Hoseok would just answer his phone. This would be so much simpler.

 

Reaching for his phone one again, he blindly taps before switching it off.

 

"Darn it," he says in distress.

 

Sawako looks at him in concern, just like he assumed she would.

 

"phone's dead," he says sheepishly.

 

"Oh, you trying to get in touch with Hoseok? You can use my phone, if you like?" she offers sweetly.

 

Hyunwoo almost feels guilty for lying.

 

"Do you have his number?" he asks and shakes her head.

 

Oh, there that goes.

 

"But it's okay. You can use Killua's. He must have Hoseok's number," she excitedly reaches for the Samsung stationed on the little nightstand.

She really is just too sweet.

The Gods must be in his favour, he just needs them to remain there.

 

She passes it to him, Hoseok's contact tab already opened," You might as well phone him."

 

It wasn't ideal but he couldn't back down. By luck, Hoseok might answer and not inform his roommate that they let a complete stranger in their room. He tried to recover from the realisation, Sawako's eyes smiling at him.

 

"Sure, might as well," he agrees, his finger upon the call icon.

 

It starts to ring and Hyunwoo reminds himself that this is what he wanted. Although his nerves wouldn't mind if Hoseok didn't pick up.

 

"Hello," a voice greets.

 

Hyunwoo struggles to remember how Hoseok's voice had sounded that early morning. Either way, Hyunwoo thinks he sounds adorable. He must have let his amazement show because Sawako raises her eyebrows at him.

 

"Hey, I'm at your dorm," Hyunwoo lamely manages, not sure what else to say that might make him look less suspicious in the eyes of Sawako.

 

There's a chuckle, light and airy, "I would think you are. You do live there,"

 

Oh, this time Hyunwoo doesn't let his confusion show.

 

He must think I'm his roommate.

 

"We need to talk," Hyunwoo can work with the confusion.

 

"I thought you guys had plans to go somewhere?"

"Yeah, in a bit but I need to speak to you first," Hyunwoo hopes it's enough to convince him.

"Okay, sure. I'll be there soon,"

 

After cutting the call, Hyunwoo hands Sawako the phone. The breath he was unaware he was holding, is finally released.

 

"He said he'll be here soon," that part wasn't a lie.

 

She just smiles, her fingers playing with the lace of her dress. Things take a turn for the awkward. There's a drawn out pause. The air is still with Hyunwoo looking at Sawako's direction but successfully evading eye contact.

 

"So you've known Hoseok for long?" she asks.

"Not long, met him when I started college," Hyunwoo answers.

"Ooooh," she murmurs and the silence is reinstated.

 

-

"That was odd," Hoseok mumbles as he slips his phone in his pocket.

"Huh," Kidoh looks lost as he steps out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.

“Killua wants to talk to me,” Hoseok mumbles.

“Wants you join the dark side?” Xiao jokes.

The bluenette laughs, ” Maybe, at least I can get my kimono one time,”

If Hoseok only knew he was going to get more than that, he might not have secured a deep red leather choker around his neck.

-

They surprisingly decided to leave Hyunwoo in the dorm. Sawako being the one to trust him as Killua looks uncertain.

“Hoseok will be here any minute now,” She stresses as they gather the last of their luggage.

Hyunwoo is left alone in the room, Hyunwoo is left alone in Hoseok’s room, Hyunwoo is left alone in his crush’s room- either way he puts it, it just feels so mind boggling. How did come from stalking Hoseok to sitting on Hoseok’s bed.

Getting restless, he heaves himself up, his hands reaching into the air as he stretches. A yawn escapes his lips and he thinks for a moment he heard footsteps. Turning to the door, he hold his breath. The nerves are back and he’s eyes just lock on the door handle. When the silver handles turns, Hyunwoo feels mayhem running amok on the inside. He gulps as the door swings open.

Hoseok’s sweet voice call out,”Killua,”

Hyunwoo wants hear his own name from those lips.

Hoseok shuffles in, his hair flopping in the wind. He closes the door and turns to removehis stiff hair from his eyes only for his gaze to land on Hyunwoo standing dumbly in front of him. He freezes, his joint locking. The first reaction is to run, the second one is to cry. He does nothing but stare.

Oh, no.

“Hi,” Hyunwoo asks lamely.

His brain goes into overdrive, no longer in limbo, Hyunwoo finds himself stunned at the other’s beauty. The way his clothes cling to him, the white of his smooth skin around his navel. The way that deep red choker wraps around his neck is so delicate. None of it helping the situations but those exposed thighs did things to him.

If Hoseok’s eyes weren’t so wide and strained, he might have noticed Hyunwoo checking him out. He doesn’t of course, he’s too shocked and his priority is the thundering in his chest. His minds tries to formulate a plan, any plan, he just wants to escape but he can barely move his neck yet alone his legs.

Inhaling, begging his voice not to crack, he asks,” Can I help?”

He really tries to sound polite but he can hear his own harshness.

”I really need to talk to you,” Hyunwoo says with more certainty.

He stands awkwardly, his arms dangling at his side.

“About what?”

Hoseok hates how cute the other is, the way he keeps dropping his gaze to floor and back up to him.

He hesitates,” About your text,”

Oh, no he didn’t. That’s the last thing he wants to talk about.  The emotions fluctuate in his chest and he’s reminded of the dread that plagued him yesterday. He was not about to go down that lane. Son Hyunwoo broke his heart once, Hoseok won’t let it happen a second time.

“Forget about it,” Hoseok bites back calmly, his body straightening up like a scorpion on attack.

He cannot give in. He just cannot.

Hyunwoo’s shoulder drops and so does his face, “Listen, I just want to say I didn’t mean to ignore it.”

He wants to say a lot more that but he can’t seem to find the words. Did he mention he was bad at this expressing business.

“Well now you said it. I don’t even know how you got in but you can leave now,” Hoseok isn’t having any of it.

Nope, he just hardens his defence further. He had no right being so rude to the other but he felt so hurt. The tears are minutes away, he can only subsides this feeling of rejection with anger.

“I’m sorry,” the elder blurts out.

Sorry? That one word tips the scale , that one word has the flood gates bursting open, allowing the waves of emotions to consume Hoseok. Hyunwoo had nothing to be sorry about, it wasn’t his fault but that apologetic tone in his voice made Hoseok’s blood boil. Hoseok was being a bitch because he thought he could because he got his heart broken. He didn’t care what this Son Hyunwoo thought of him but maybe he hoped if he dug a hole deep enough, he would convince himself that getting out was impossible. 

“Sorry?” Hoseok parrots,” I confess to you and you reject me and you’re sorry? For what? It’s not your fault but if it makes you feel better, apology accepted. Now get out.”

The weight of his words weighs on him. He just put everything on the table and he was not up to play. He had the right to angry, maybe not Hyunwoo but to be angry in general. Everyone deals with things differently.

Hyunwoo looks at him desperately and Hoseok’s resolution crumbles. The elder opens his mouth to speak but when no words formulate, Hoseok cuts in.

“ You don’t have to apologise,” He empathises when the spitefulness subsides,” You’re not at fault.”

The waves of emotions prove too overwhelming, underneath the gaze of his crush, Hoseok can barely regulate his breathing. His chest tightens and the embarrassment creeps in. He thought he didn’t care but he did. He cared so much about what Hyunwoo thought about him, he wanted to crawl into ball from the utter humiliation he just put himself through. It only worsens when the older makes no attempt to move. Hoseok’s head is bowed; the tears are almost there, almost.

“Please leave,” He says, the harshness is no more, instead his voice wavers with each passing emotion.

The brave Hoseok is no more.  


Hyunwoo feels his heart clench at the sight in front of him. Lies, it was all his fault. His fault for being such a coward, his fault for not growing a pair. He was just as unfit for Hoseok as he thought he was.

“I,” the words aren’t expressive enough.

Everything he comes up with isn’t enough. It doesn’t tell Hoseok just how truly beautiful he is, it doesn’t show Hoseok just how the elder ached for his touch, how the elder loved to watch him, loved to dream about him. His words just don’t do Hoseok justice.

“I’m not all depressed about the rejection,” Hoseok states, swallowing back the tears but the strain is evident I his voice” It’s more about me not feeling good enough. So don’t worry about it. This isn’t your fault. It’s personal.”

He isn’t sure why he said that.

Why explain himself to a stranger?

He hates the thought of Hyunwoo feeling guilty because more than that, he hates the thought that Hyunwoo might be emotionally swayed by the guilt, he can’t accept Hyunwoo beating himself up over this.

His eyes water and Hoseok panic, he leans back into the down and slide down in a crouching position. He’s always quick to tear, a cry baby from his young days. His hands move to run through his hair, in an attempt to shield his watery eyes but Hyunwoo doesn’t miss it. Hoseok knows he saw and immediately sits down and brings his knees up as a defence.

His forehead rest on his knees as he hides his face,” Don’t look at me,”

He’s so ashamed of himself. How did this even happen? Why isn’t leaving? If he just left, Hoseok would have been allowed to cry into the warmth of his bed. Not here, in front of the very stranger that made him cry. He’s even more ashamed that he let a stranger reduce him to this.

Hyunwoo immediately wants to engulf him, he quickly approaches the curled figure and drops to his knees. His shoulder are heavy, he can feel a migraine coming on. He needs to plea his case, he needs to ask for a chance but the way Hoseok looks. The elder’s arms reach out but he stops himself. The younger looks so precious, it breaks Hyunwoo’s heart knowing he did this but he should fix it but what if he can’t?

He has to.

If he likes Hoseok, if he loves Hoseok then he would be able to comfort him. Its validation of his own feelings that he already trusts. Hyunwoo’s never felt like this before, like he would sell his soul to make things right, like he should protect the other with his life. Such intense feelings that he knows are too grandeur to trust but the fact that he feels them.

Hyunwoo might know much about emotions and being affectionate or even what is to love someone but he knows he plans on attending every fake meeting just so he can see Hoseok.

Clearing his throat, he takes another approach, one his mind is more eloquent with, one he has no problem with expressing since he can talk about this forever, ” You know what I like?”

It sounds odd, he knows.

  
Hoseok doesn’t answer, his  face still hidden.

Hyunwoo continues,” I like the way the corners of your mouth turn up when you smile. Your teeth are really pretty. I like it when you push your hair back and it falls to the side. I like it when your tattoos peak out from underneath your knitted coat.  How your eyes sparkle when you laugh, your voice so deep and loud. I can hear you across the room. I like that blue eyeshadow you use, the way your clothes hugs your body, the way you sway when you walk as you talk. I like the way you handle people, so fragilely like you’re scared you’re going to break them. I really really like your smiles and your thighs too,”

He might be a bit too honest.

The younger doesn’t stir and Hyunwoo feels dread creep in. Is this the end? One stupid fuck up like not charging his phone has things this screwed up.

“I know I fucked up but trust me when I say  I never wanted to hurt you,” Hyunwoo had wanted the very opposite.

 If only, if only. Then what? Would they be together, dating? He drops his head and stares at the ground in frustration. Internally cursing himself, he feels his whole body getting heavy with regret. It only proves to him that he wasn’t good enough for the other after all.

“Your bunny teeth,” Hoseok speaks softly but Hyunwoo picks it up instantly.

The younger has lifted his head a few inches but his gaze is averted to the grey walls. Hyunwoo looks at him in awe , the  blue hair is in the way.

“When you smile, I can see you bunny teeth. I like them,” He mumbles.

Hyunwoo finds his heart fluttering in relief, his whole body celebrates. Hoseok still avoids his gaze but the younger giggles when he notices the way Hyunwoo’s body relaxes.

“Óh my god,” Hyunwoo breathes out as he releases a deep breath, his body straightening up as he grins.

“And your shoulders,” Hoseok’s teases as he smiles,” They’re nice.”

Hyunwoo breathes another sigh of relief as he scoots closer, trying to force Hoseok to look at him. The younger is still averting his gaze as he flushes pink and smiles foolishly. Hyunwoo want to kiss him so badly but he can’t risk it.

“You’ve been watching,” Hyunwoo states as he closes in.

“ I have,” Hoseok agrees, still too shy to look Hyunwoo in the eye.

“And I’ve been watching you,” Hyunwoo tilts his head.

The close proximity proves too distracting and Hyunwoo pulls him in like a magnet.

He stutter,” H How come-“

“You’ve never seen me watch you,’ Hyunwoo finishes.

It grabs Hoseok’s attention and he looks straight into Hyunwoo’s eyes, he’s startled at Hyunwoo peering at him with such intent. The younger’s eyes widen as Hyunwoo’s eyes dreamily watches. It’s a strangely intimate act and Hoseok’s breathes hitches.

A sigh of relief is released when Hyunwoo leans back but that quickly changes when he reaches to clutch onto Hoseok’s manicured hands.

Hyunwoo’s hands are warm and large and Hoseok melts at the contact. 

This may be their first time really talking but Hyunwoo feels like they just crossed an ocean to get here and he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t hesitate or let his nerves get the better of him.

Actually he feels quite confident, he feels like he needs to woo the other.

Bring the pale hand to his lips, Hyunwoo kisses each on the knuckle as Hoseok gapes at him.

“Shin Hoseok, I want to be our lover,” He states confidently, although he’s not sure why even choose the word ‘lover’.

The words sound chivalrous, Hoseok almost laughs. His mouth promptly closes, a smile slipping through the seams.

“You want to date me?” He asks after a while of Hyunwoo watching him in silence.

The term lover was confusing, no matter how romantic it sounded so Hoseok felt the need to clarify.

He knew he wanted this but actually getting it is something else. Hoseok doesn’t even think it could be real.

“Yes,” Hyunwoo replies.

Looking around the room as he blushes madly, Hoseok finally presses his head onto his knee as he nods his head. His voice abandoning him in his time of need.

Its adorable, ”You adorable,”

The compliment has Hoseok looking up at the dancer as he a deep blush stains his cheeks.

“ it won’t be easy,’ Hoseok says as he regains his composure.

Letting go of Hoseok’s hand, Hyunwoo settles on his buttock and leans back. Hoseok in turns lowers his knees as to allow them to look straight at one another, nothing in the way.

“I’m messy, emotional and I cry a lot,” He says with a serious tone.

Hyunwoo chuckles,” I think I can manage.”

“There’s the basics though. Feed me, pet me and tell me I’m pretty,” Hoseok explains bravely.

Hyunwoo smirks, “ You’re beautiful.”

The rules pose no a problems, Hyunwoo would abide them happily.  
 

It catches Hoseok off guard and he immediately feels the heat of the blush upon his cheeks. Flustered, he looks away as he fold his arms over his chest.

Too adorable,” At least now I don’t have to go to those meeting just to see you. I can see you whenever I want to.”

It sounds pretentious but Hyunwoo doesn’t care.

“True, maybe next Friday we should do something more relaxed,” Hoseok shyly replies.

“Why not do it now?” Hyunwoo asks.

Blinking as he think, Hoseok thinks there isn’t really a reason for him to get drink anymore, ”What do you suggest?”

“We talk, I want to talk you,” Hyunwoo confesses as they smile in unison.

“ I like that,” Hoseok agrees.

Neither of them want to be around people. Neither of them want to share the other’s attention.

After all these night of watching, Hoseok wants to learn all about Hyunwoo. He wants to listen Hyunwoo’s voice, watch his expression and his body language knowing it’s all for him. He wants to make Hyunwoo laugh, to expose those cute bunny teeth.

“Wanna talk on my bed?” Hoseok queries.

“Is that code for something else,” Hyunwoo teases.

The younger shyly smile as he protests. Who knew the larger cold be so cheeky?

Getting off the floor, the two awkwardly stare at the bed.

Hyunwoo knows he has to take the lead and flops down first, his one arms laid out and Hoseok instinctively lays his head on it. It comes easy enough. They could sit but where’s the fun in that. In honesty they’ve dying to in each other’s warmth

Reaching for his phone, Hoseok quickly texts Kido and Xiao, telling them plans are cancelled and he will be busy the rest of the day. Switching the phone off, he feels a pang of guilty but soon he can feel the warmth of Hyunwoo shifting next to him and he forgets all about the guilt.

Hyunwoo does the same, sending a short text to his best friend.

-

He had no motivation to do anything and with Hyunwoo not being around, Minhyuk didn’t know what to do in the apartment. He makes the bed just because he has watched almost all of Hyunwoo’s movies and he needs to stay productive. He continued to busy himself with making food or skimming through facebook, anything to avoid thinking about the awkward exchange this morning but to no avail. He keeps thinking of about Hyunwoo, the way the elder looked at him, the way his best friend looked at him. How long was Minhyuk going bathe in his dread.

Shoving the depressive thoughts aside, he reaches for his phone and is mildly surprised to find a text from Hyunwoo. Just seeing the text is enough to comfort Minhyuk. He flops down on the sofa and smiles at the device in his hands.

See, everything is fine.

The false sense of comfort is quickly over turned. The message is brief. Basically Hyunwoo telling him that he’ll be back and that Minhyuk should lock if he leaves He thinks he should be somewhat happy, the message didn’t mention Hoseok but then again the message didn’t mention much.-its unsettling. Why would his friend be so vague with him? Minhyuk thinks he’s exaggerating. It is Hyunwoo after all. Just because he was depressed last night, doesn’t mean everything has to point in the bluenette’s  direction.

He shouldn’t think into this, he really shouldn’t but something feels wrong. There’s an awkward sensation churning in his stomach and his jaw is tight. Minhyuk can’t shake the sensation that he’s missing something, like he’s left something behind and now he can’t find it.

He still continues to smile. A comforting whisper in his head saying it’s okay. Hyunwoo is his best friend.

-

Returning their attention back to each other, there’s a moment of unease and Hyunwoo can’t help but notice the space between them. He knew he shouldn’t expect anything else but he’s craving to feel Hoseok’s body up against his. The bed is only so big but Hoseok’s frame is rather small.

Their lips split into giggles and the awkwardness dissipates.

“So you’re my stalker,” Hoseok playfully pokes.

 Hyunwoo is glad he’s talking with ease.

“Apparently so,” He mumbles, his eyes having a hard time focusing on Hoseok.

 It’s not that he wasn’t interested, No matter how hard he tries, Hyunwoo’s attention keeps returning to the milky skin of Hoseok’s love handles . The exposure of the low cut jeans and crop top proving to be a deadly mixture, not to mention the ripped jeans revealing way too much. It almost makes his mouth water.

“Is something wrong?” Hoseok asks as he frowns and Hyunwoo feels guilty.

“Nah, it’s just that… May I?” He asks, his hand hovering in mid air.

He knows this is moving way too fast and he doesn’t want the other to misunderstand but the temptation.

Hoseok doesn’t know what Hyunwoo is talking about but he grants him permission anyway. He thinks  Hyunwoo could ask for anything right now and he would grant him permission.

Hoseok’s eyes follows Hyunwoo’s hands as they settle on the bare flesh of his side, just upon his tattoo. The contact makes him shiver and Hyunwoo looks at him in concern.

“It’s fine,” Hoseok assures him.

It’s not fine, the skin underneath his hand is burning, the tingling sensation making his nipples hard around the silver piercing. It only gets worst when Hyunwoo clutches at his side a pulls him in closer. Hoseok feels strangely comfortable with the act, maybe because he’s wanted it for so long or maybe because Hyunwoo and him are now dating. The tone of lust quickly subsides when he looks into Hyunwoo’s crescent eyes. The way Hyunwoo looks at him with such adoration, Hoseok is so happy, he almost feels giddy. Yes, Hyunwoo and he are dating.

“You eyes are pretty,” Hoseok thinks out loud.

Hyunwoo laughs,” My eyes are barely there,”

Hoseok scoffs,” But they have this crescent shape when you laugh. It’s cute. Is it a thing in your fam?”

“Yep, my dad’s side all have small eyes,”

“ You have siblings?” Hoseok asks as he gets more comfortable.

“One sister,” Hyunwoo replies,” You?”

“Seven brothers,” Hoseok chuckles and Hyunwoo widens his eyes.

“How?” he asks in disbelief

“I’m kinda the product of an affair you see. When my dad got my mum pregnant with me, he already had six sons and a wife.” Hoseok explains freely.

Hyunwoo didn’t really think there was an answer. He feels  himself foolishly smiling as the other explains. For Hoseok to speak so freely of such a matter to him, it makes Hyunwoo really happy.

“He’s Japanese, my father that is. Later on my mum remarried and had another son, my little brother,” Hoseok harbours no ill feelings for his parents, he sounds perfectly content.

“ Have you been to Japan?” Hyunwoo asks and Hoseok is glad that he didn’t apologise.

They always want to apologise. Being the bastard child isn’t as terrible as books make it seem.

“ Yep, twice year since I was three,”

“ I want to go there. Heard it’s beautiful,” Hyunwoo says dreamily.

“We should go then, when we get a chance. I have a house there,” Hoseok says shyly, his eyes staring at Hyunwoo’s chest.

He thinks it’s a bit too early to talk about such things but Hoseok has a problem with talking, he generally doesn’t think before he speaks.

“That would be nice,” Hyunwoo hums in satisfaction, not questioning further about what he means when he says he has a house.

They continue like that, randomly fluttering from one subject to another. Hyunwoo’s not sure he’s ever spoken this much in one day or even a month but Hoseok looks at him with such , he can’t stop himself. He finds himself revealing embarrassing stories just to hear the younger’s laughter. Loving how Hoseok’s nose scrunches up as he chuckles and his whole body shakes when he tries to suppress his laughter.

Minutes go by and turn into hours, the two continue to talk about the most trivial of things.

A pang of hunger hits Hyunwoo but the other is happily talking about his little brother and Hyunwoo doesn’t want to interrupt.

“What’s you favorite food?” He asks afterwards.

Hoseok blinks but answers confidently,” Ramyun.”

Hyunwoo can’t contain his smiles, the younger’s lips sounds so adorable.

“Say that again,” Hyunwoo tries his luck.

“Ramyun,” Hoseok repeats in confusion.

After a long list of things Hyunwoo liked about Hoseok, that lisp had just jumped to the top.

“Cute,”

Hoseok looks annoyed when Hyunwoo doesn’t explain.

“Let’s go, i need to fulfil my next duty ,” Hyunwoo whispers as he watches Hoseok’s blissful face.

Whatever that means, Hoseok thinks.

-

Meanwhile

“He just ditched us,” Xiao sulks.

“I know,” Kidoh mumbles, his brows creased,” I’m kinda worried.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Jongup comment, he’s just about done with this dreary atmosphere.

“You didn’t see him,” Kidoh stresses as he takes another swig of his beer.

Jongup sighs, he’s been hearing the same thing non-stop. He’s apparently missed the grand meltdown of Shin Hoseok but he can’t imagine why they say it like it’s a bad thing. A crying Hoseok is a Hoseok no one wants to do deal with.

“He looked like he was going to keel over,” Xiao sighs.

Jongup laughs as he fiddles with his camera.

Their little drinking spree was halted when the main act decided to bail on his comrades. Neither Xiao nor Kidoh knew how to feel about that. The bluenette was a mess just yesterday. Thus they were left  in their black and white outfits, all dolled up with nowhere to go.

“Why can’t we just go out?” Jongup asks with no interest.

“Because he might turn up at my door in a complete mess,” Kidoh reinstates.

Jongup nods knowingly. There was no way to convince Kidoh otherwise, Jongup can’t remember a time where Kidoh wasn’t by Hoseok’s side. The bluennete is soft and  day dreamy, he was afraid of the dark and a bit too careful of everyone’s feeling, he’s clumsy and sensitive. Jongup thinks God gave Hoseok an excess of just about everything. Shin Hoseok has no chill, not even as a child. Kidoh was his guard, his voice of logic and protector. For all the stupid things Hoseok would have done in his life, Jongup was glad Kidoh was around to save the bluenette. Lord knows to what age Hoseok would have lived to if Kidoh wasn’t.

Faking a sigh, Jongup turns to Xiao,”we can still get high?”

The Chinese girl smiles at him sheepishly,” I have something better,”

Jongup eyes widen as she digs in her bag to retrieve a bag of coke. Xiao could work magic, he swears. The exchange wide grins before unsealing the bag. Kidoh still looks uninterested. They had somehow decided to stop their meandering ways when they entered college, they did enough damage in High school. Of course it was a lie as you can tell by the way they’re lining up the white substance. They tried though.

“Xiao, I thought you’re going to stop?” Kidoh finally speaks.

The Chinese girl stops for a minute. Kidoh’s right, she’s training at a professional level in gymnastics but the year is young. She doubts any test will be done.

She shrugs and continues as Kidoh watches her with intent.

“Xiao,” he says warningly.

“One time won’t hurt Ki,”

She won’t admit it but she needs this. She’s been putting up a brave front but training has proved to be daunting and she doesn’t know if she can hold on. She’s never dealt with such fierce competition. It’s a drastic difference from before, she was no longer the star student, the golden child that was praised. Now she was just a number surrounded by athletes that were just as good or even better.

He doesn’t look impressed but he lets the matter go.

Jongup smiles at their interaction. He’s been busy with the year project and he misses the company of his crew. The air might be sullen now but Jongup knew that the bag of coke would be done in a couple hours and the last thing they’re going to remember is a heart broken Hoseok. It nice to just chill with them, even if Hoseok wasn’t here.

-

It’s almost five and Minhyuk gives up on being around when Hyunwoo gets back. Staying over would feel odd after receiving that text. Gathering his stuff, he sets upon the task of closing all the windows, switching off the lights and disconnecting the unnecessary plugs. It’s strange, the way he feels like he needs to leave, like he didn’t already stay here freely whenever he felt like it. Hyunwoo never once told him he should leave and probably the text was him just being cautious, maybe it didn’t suggest anything? Maybe but the way he looked at Minhyuk in the morning, like he was hiding something. Glancing at the counter, he notices the main keys are missing. Hyunwoo must have known he would be staying out this late. Why didn’t he mention anything?

Groaning in frustration, he shuts the door a little too hard and locks it. He even has his own key, he shouldn’t feel this way.

Yet he does, he feels like he’s in trouble, like their friendship is in trouble. Minhyuk can’t stand the thought of that. It makes his head spin and his chest ache, he feels so uneasy and he doesn’t know how to shake it off. He doesn’t want to think about it. He really doesn’t.

It just that in all his years of knowing Hyunwoo, Minhyuk has never felt like this. They were best friends, stuck to each from the time they were six years  old. Minhyuk always acted freely, as he pleased with Hyunwoo because they were so comfortable. It was just how their friendship worked. Even when Minhyuk would get distracted and go missing with his boyfriend, Hyunwoo was always there to support him when the inevitable break up came along. They would bounce right back into their usual dynamics, like Minhyuk hadn’t devoted all his time to some guy for last two months. Like Minhyuk wasn’t a terrible friend.

He was though, a terrible friend. How else would you describe Minhyuk when in all their years of friendship, he only picked up on Hyunwoo being gay this year. He didn’t even pick it up, Hyunwoo told him directly. It wasn’t exactly coming out of the closet as it was Hyunwoo crushing on some guy at some fake meeting. Before Shin Hoseok, Minhyuk didn’t know a thing. He should have though. Even if Hyunwoo’s only relationship was with a girl, Minhyuk should have known but he didn’t.

And he thinks it hurts a little too much.

Swallowing back the frustrated sigh, he decides he really needs to fill his tummy. Hyunwoo’s apartment lacks food of substance. He quickens the pace as he watches the cars go by. Maybe a pastry would do him good. Not that he wants to go to a place that he usually shares with Hyunwoo but what other options did he have. He wasn’t willing to experiment on his limited budget.

Pulling his coat closer, he sets forth in search of food in the chill of the evening. He doesn’t remember yesterday being this chilly. Starting up a jog, he feels warmer and his destination is in sight. As usual their street is littered with people, the Ramyun place is always busy. Weaving through the  people, he halts his jog just as he’s about to reach the entrance. He slows down to catch his breath when he hears something through the chatter.

Something obnoxious and loud.

 Something like Hyunwoo’s laughter. He takes a few steps back and he hears it more clearly, peaking through the window, Minhyuk locates the bluenette immediately. His chest ceases when the figure next to him turns and Hyunwoo’s profile is revealed. The bright lighting enhances every edge and curve of his handsome face.

 Even if for a split second, Minhyuk thinks he might cry but instead he forces a smile. A pitiful voice within him tells him that he should be happy.

But he’s not but he’s in public and Hyunwoo could turn around any minute.

People pass by but he stays stationary, staring at the two figures at the counter. The buzz of the street lamps, the music coming from the cafe and the peoples voices all seem to be muted. Hoseok has Hyunwoo’s shirt on, his favourite red one. Minhyuk bought it for him as birthday gift about two years ago. How ironic that it’s now drapped upon the Blunetter. They’re sitting way too close, Hoseok’s hand clinging onto Hyunwoo’s arm as they talk. Minhyuk watches because he’s begging God for nothing to happen, he’s begging God for the impossible. Hyunwoo leans down as he speaks animatedly, the younger leans in too. So close, till their faces are barely an inch apart. Hyunwoo says something and the bluenette blushes, dipping his head to rest against Hyunwoo’s arm. Minhyuk is stunned by their intimacy but he’s utter shell shocked at the way Hyunwoo smiles. It’s like his best friend is literally glowing, a smile so blinding upon his lips. In all their years of friendship, Minhyuk has never achieved that.

Something foreign is brewing inside of him and he doubts he can stomach anything now. Giving his friend one last look over, Minhyuk forces his feet forward, forces himself to run but  all he manages is a jog. He’s brain is too hazy with too many emotions to co ordinate his limbs properly. Most of all he feels like he’s blind, every time his focuses his eyes, he feels the tears brimming. So he runs, no he jogs and thinks about everything except the way he feels. He thinks about waking up for morning classes tomorrow, he thinks about cleaning his side of the dorm, he thinks about the ice cream shop Hyunwoo and he frequented in their home town, he thinks of maybe dying his hair a different.

 Maybe an ashe blonde with blue tips?

Then he no longer thinks because the emotions take over and he feels every inch of him ache. He can’t understand, no, he can’t accept it.

No, no , no, the words echo in his head.

Coming to a stop, bends over and rests his hands on his knees. His stomach is in knots, it painful and Minhyuk wishes it would just go away. He wishes it would all just go away. All these emotions and these feelings, Minhyuk doesn’t want it. It’s too painful, so painful he can barely breathe.

He sees it before he feels it; A tiny little drop on the grey stone floors. Raising a hand to his cheek, Minhyuk touches the wet salty trails.

He’s crying and he knows it’s over. The battle he was fighting is over and he lost.

The overcoming sadness is replaced with a quiet sullen mood. Straightening up, he wipes his face with the sleeve of his coat. No more tears are spilled and he walks to dorm in an even pace. People pass by and he doesn’t bother to return their gazes.

He knows what they must be thinking, poor boy.

One foot in front of the other, he tells himself.

Step by step, he barely realises when he’s in the safety of his room. Throwing himself on the bed, his mind refuses to sleep. Instead they force him to face himself. Force him to accept defeat but Minhyuk won’t. So he just lies there, running circles in his head for hours.

Time becomes infinite and Minhyuk can’t escape his box of restraints. He keeps cutting corners, cowering in dark space, hoping the truth won’t find him. He thinks he can make it go away, that once he’s hurt enough, it will stop. He thinks he has the stamina. How long can one hurt like this anyway? So he waits and waits, till his eyes burn and he’s throat threatens to cave in, till the voices in his head become louder and he’s losing his sanity.-and yet it still hurts.

The quiet of the dark is disturbed by the door opening, a stream of lighting coming in. Minhyuk closes his eyes, it’s like he almost forgot he was alive. He knows it’s his roommate, one he’s not particularly fond of. The lights are switched on and Minhyuk doesn’t care to hide his tear streaked face, not from his roommate anyway. He just heaves, his throat is sore from all the crying and he just lies there. The smell of cigarette lingering in the air and Minhyuk hates it.

The sounds of shuffling, wardrobe doors and the flipping of pages. Each noise his roommate makes seems to be unusually amplified.

The cool of the dark returns and Minhyuk thinks he’s exhausted himself enough to sleep but he’s wrong and the tears start to flow again. In the silence of the night, each sob and sniffles drifts into the air.

“Hey,” A voice calls out and Minhyuk tries to ignore it.

He knows he’s being selfish by disturbing the other but what can he do. The tears just won’t stop.

“Listen I can hear you cry,” He states the obvious.

“So,” Minhyuk manages.

After a lengthy silence, his roommate speaks up again.

An audible sigh filters through the air,” Talk to me,”

Huh, Minhyuk opens his eyes to stare at the darkness, a small pool of light coming from the phone charging. The burn of his eyes makes it uncomfortable and the corners of his eyes are starting to cut with liquid.

“Why would I Jongup?” He finally asks.

Jongup in the comfort of his bed, swallows another sigh. He doesn’t do these things, he should be sleeping actually but instead he’s high of coke and his mind speeds through a million different theories.

Apparently the coked up him cares for people.

“Cause, we don’t know each other,” He realises.

They didn’t really.

“So,” Minhyuk thinks it’s all the more reason he shouldn’t talk.

All Minhyuk knew about Jongup was that he was a photography student that was weird and did drugs. Doesn’t sound too trusting.

“It’s better this way. Think about it. You don’t know me and i don’t know you. It’s all the more reason we can say whatever we want. You don’t care about what I think and plus you can be as vague as you wanna be. I wouldn’t know better because i don’t know you ,” he explains.

Minhyuk stays silent as he contemplates.

“I won’t judge you or comfort you. You just talk and i’ll just listen,”

It sounds easy enough. Jongup was right about them not knowing each other. It saves Minhyuk the risk of being exposed and he also doesn’t have to put up a front in his dorm. Jongup had seen him cry helplessly and the other would instinctively know it’s a front if he wakes up with his usual aura. If they maintain this distance, this converse in the safe of the dark and maintain the indifference in hours of the living.- it would allow Minhyuk a place to rest his head. It’s a tempting preposition and Minhyuk goes against his better judgement.

His voice wavers as emotions clog up his throat but still he persists.

“I’m in love with my best friend,” He says as if it’s just another daily occurrence.

There’s a moment of stillness and the tears over power again but this time they fall silently, his mind now still. Minhyuk almost forgets about Jongup’s presence. He’s busy mulling over the truth, the very truth he’s been avoiding ever since that day Hyunwoo spoke of Hoseok. Now he can put a name to the feelings he’s experiencing; it’s heartbreak.

There’s static in the air and Jongup’s voice threatens to worsen it, “I see.”

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for dropping the story but it's back on priority. Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy.  
> sorry for errors and see you soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. apologies for errors.
> 
> I've been meaning to do a chaptered showho. About time I contributed to the fandom. I'm thinking 12 chapters. Take this chapter as an intro.  
> So there will be more characters and pairings.  
> kudos, comments, suggestions and critiques are welcomed. 
> 
> ^0^ peace


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